Chaunce Rumor: Artie Suspended & Will Be Fired
Thank you to Karen C. for letting me know of this.
According to Chaunce Hayden:
Taken from Sternrate.com,
“A source from within the Sirius Satellite radio walls recently reached out to me to confirm that Artie Lange will be suspended when the Howard Stern Show returns from vacation. The suspension, according to my source is just to buy time until the higher ups at Sirius can work out Lange’s contract payout. Ultimately Artie Lange will be fired and new comedians will begin auditioning for his job when the show returns on Monday. My source has never been wrong. In fact, it was the same source he told me that David Lee Roth was going to replace Howard Stern on KROCK. Stay tuned for more details in next weeks issue of Steppin Out magazine.”
– Matt’s take: I don’t know if I can buy them filling Artie’s spot with temporary comedians that quick without preparing the audience and letting us comment before that takes place. And is a suspension really needed since they just had a week off?
April 16th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
If chaunce is being truthful then it truely is a sad day for the stern show. Who could fill those baby gorilla shoes?
April 16th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
I don’t think they will try to replace him in the literal sense of the word.
April 16th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
where are they gonna find a 300 pound funny standup comic addicted to hookers, heroin and loves to eat and sleep during work?
April 16th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
The sad thing is, who the hell is going to roll the dice by employing Artie again; I am talking a long-term project such as a tv show, or even a movie? the Mad tv thing - ok, you can let that go. You can rationalize it by saying he was an addict, he’s no longer an addict. But this is the second time that he has violently exited from a high-profile gig. Too much baggage. I hope he put a lot of Borgata money away.
April 16th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
I think he’s gonna quit anyway. I also think they’d have him on one more day to say goodbye. At the very least, it’s more fodder for the soap opera that is the Howard Stern show.
April 16th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
why would anyone believe chaunce?
April 16th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
artie did nothing different than what he did with Sal and High pitch Mike, with the exception of quitting, so why would he be suspended and fired. ARTIE CAN NOT BE REPLACED. With only a few years left, if he is fired just bring back Jackie. Monday can not come fast enough. If Artie is gone things just won’t be the same, and the shows demise will be immenenet.
April 16th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Yeah, Chaunce is a reliable source. That’s sarcasm, kids, look it up. I’ll wait till Monday to see what happens.
April 16th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
I was thinking that too, its the sal when Artie threw the CD at Sal, maybe a little less aggressive them but maybe this is management saying enough is enough.
April 16th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Matt, do you beleive Artie is done?
April 16th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I’ll be seeing Artie tomorrow at a local firefighter benefit. We’re gonna hopefully be hanging with him before and after the show (if he doesn’t fall the fuck asleep) so I’ll try and get as much as I can outta him regarding this whole situation. I’m also gonna try and have the boys sit him the hell down and try and talk some sense into him. Nothing says intervention like a bunch of drunk Jersey firefighters. lol
April 16th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Voulenteer or paid, that makes a huge difference in the level of drunkeness and the # of kegs
April 16th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
I saw artie up here in MA, it was ok but he was drunk
I really hope he’s there on monday and I agree with the guy
that said it can’t get here fast enough…I am so depressed
April 16th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Paid and voulenteer brotha. # of kegs is bound to be close to double digits.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Matty remember, try and get some pics
I didnt think he was done.. but the rumor started getting my doubts going again because i have no idea how management(Sirius) is reacting.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
listening to Jonny Rebel now and Artie was at his best. Not like now, he was actually very funny and not speaking over everyone. HE was classic
and a very different person then.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Isn’t MAtt and artiefan the same person
April 16th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Greg Fitzsimmons will slide right into Arties spot. I am sick of Arties problems. Without the show he will slide into obscurity.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Besides, fat, addict comedians are a dime a dozen. Hope Artie can get his job on the docks back.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Mother fuckers!. Artie is the best. Fuck them!, artie can be on his own. They wanted it, they pushed artie.FIRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
April 16th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Chaunce is wrong. If Artie is fired Sirius has no obligation to buy out his contract. Fitzsimmons sucks!
April 16th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
I agree. Howard pushed Artie to bring the fight into the studio and instigated the situation until it got out of control.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Fitzsimmons is a fag. He is a crybaby. He will not work on the show,
the only possible replacement is Jackie or maybe gilbert, but gilbert will drive them all nuts, lets face it Jackie or no one, plus it would be nice to see them go out the wat they came in
April 16th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
If Artie goes I’ll probably stop listening. This has been coming….Howard has been “sensoring” Artie for a while an everyone knows Artie is the most liked person on the show according to the recent poll.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
HOLY SHIT… revelation. Look at the timing of everything… the replacement will be Riley Martin. His contract is up this week and the show comes back next week. It makes too much sense, it was almost too easy to figure it out… haha
April 16th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Fuck Jackie. Always hated him and there’s no way he would be brought back.
Maybe you guys like watching a guy slowly kill himself, but I would rather not listen to it. If Artie keeps it up, he will be dead soon. Just like John Candy, John Belushi and Chris Farley except without the talent.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
to dirt: Matt is my name but this is the only nickname i post with
April 16th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
I got ya Matt, pics are a definite, I’ll try and video as much as I can too. If I can I’ll have him do a video for the site or something, like saying it’s the #1 artie fan site.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
You will certainly be the shit if you get him to say something… I meant to have him do that when I met him but I chickened out.. just didnt feel right.
I always thought it would be funny if he said,, if you don’t visit Save Baby Gorilla, ugh, your fucked. LOL like the Howard TV commercial.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
lol that’d be perfect. My cousins one of the firefighters working it so we’re getting there early to hang around and shit. that’d be the first thing I’d ask, a video for sbg would truely be sick.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Why would Artie, be fired if he’s already resigned? In case Chaunce the homo forgot, Arite left the show on Thurs. I have no doubt that Artie is gone from the show. But my prediction is that Howard will tell all the fans, Artie is taking some time off to get straight and WILL eventually come back. Hopefully in a few months. That’s why I think will happen. Howard has no desire to replace Artie permanently with anyone, The show has two years left. It took Artie over 4 years to catch his groove, be good on the air and have the fans accept him. NO ONE will replace Artie..period.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
@ matty - Damn dude thats awesome you get to get there early.. nice!!! Dude that would be a killer hookup, you the shit man!!
April 16th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
I’m can’t imagine any one of us were surprised at what happened. I thought it might happen a bit sooner is all.
Funny how Artie blamed Howard for causing this situation. It’s always someone else’s fault. Howard should have left them alone in the hall with their argument? Then what? Turn off all the mic’s so the rest of the cast can take a nap? Howard’s show “IS” about getting in the middle of conflicts, etc. It’s why we listen. Or does he sensor parts of the show to keep Artie from getting pissed off? Or to keep anyone from getting pissed off? Think it would be a lot like listening to “The View”, or Oprah…
I still think that George Takai would be an incredible replacement. Just imagine how cool the show would be the day George get’s pissed off enough to throw a cd case at Sal, or starts calling anyone who pisses him off a “fag”….
The show has always gotten better in it’s own way after shakeups… anyone miss Cabby after Howard deleted him off the Sirius earth? And for a long time, most of us have to agree that Artie was a great improvement over Jackie…
Bye Artie… We’ll listen to MasterTape Theatre for when you used to be funny.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Hell yeah brotha. I’m just hoping artie’s good to go and isnt sick or tired from the trip and shit.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
@mattys, yeah true that man. Who knows what he will be like.. i wonder how many people will ask him if he has really left the show…. SBG, needs an exclusive! hehe
April 16th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
wait, they’re firing artie for misconduct and still negotioating a buyout? not just unlikely, impossible!
once again chaunce is a hatefull little bitch who will gladly anally rape the truth for a little publicity. no one at sirius who is haplfway trustworthy would ever talk to him.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Well…..I dunno….it’s true that Stern’s show is about bringing things into the open…but when you are dealing with money and a mad Artie….maybe he shoulda dropped it as Artie was definitely FURIOUS at Teddy..But I love Artie and Howard both.
P.S.I find it amazing how people love to call Artie names(Fat druggie ape,etc..)….He’s such a nice guy…Yeah…he has some homophobe probs…but look at his chemistry with Takei…
Riley Martin would be my first choice for a replacement…..He’s fucking hilarious.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
What about Eric the Midget? He already has his own chair LOLOLOL
April 16th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
He’s done. I think you can take it to the bank. Call Jackie.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
Please,please, PLEASE!!! Don’t let Jackie come back, he’s a bigger jagoff than anybody… He’s lame!
April 16th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Well…definitely not Jackie …but The Jackie puppet would be tits.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
I don’t belive ONE FUCKING WORD that Chaunce has to say. He’s just trying to inject himself in the show/situation in any way he can. Stern disowned that two face P.O.S. a long time ago and I think he would be the LAST person w/any inside info. But I certainly believe he would be the first attention whoring loser to blab it if he did. (Hence why I don’t think he would have any insider info)
April 16th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
You are talking about replacement i tell you in that case what will happen!, Howard will bring Lisa Lampeneli.
I bet 100 dollars on it!
April 16th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Umm…. if Chaunce’s source is as deep inside Sirius as to know their plans….
Then how can it be the same source who was deep enough in KROCK’s power structure as to know Roth was the man?
April 16th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Artie better be back, if not Monday - soon! He makes the show!
April 16th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Artie better be back, if not Monday - soon! He makes the show!
April 16th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
That job will be mine.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
i mean it
April 16th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Artie’s toast. I think people need to start coming to grips with that. Two physical attacks in about four months, including throwing objects and unrepentant use of homophobic slurs. Those are the facts, and they are undisputed. I take no joy in saying it, but I think that’s the reality. Howard said it; he can’t have him on the show if he can’t control himself. When things get physical and violent, you’re on a completely different level. See: AJ Benza vs. Gary & John.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Poor Artie. I wish him the best. Hopefully he won’t pull a Belushi or Farley. I think Greg Fitzsimmons would be a great candidate for the Jackie chair.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Honestly the show is never funny as when Artie is there, so replacing him would be a big big mistake. Also what is the big deal with what Artie did? I don’t get it. He never hit the guy and by all accounts was perfectly justified in hitting Teddy who has always had this care free attitude about his Boss. No employee should talk that way back to his boss. I say Artie should come back and apologize and on with the show. Big Deal he blew up. Everyone is making such a big deal about this. Artie should return and that’s it
April 16th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
replace him with both jackie and jim f
April 16th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
I just want to say thank you for staying all over this story! Your doing a great job. But this guy Chauncy can’t be trusted! We have all heard him mis quote people in the past. I really think Artie, if anything is all set with the show. What he thinks he’s going to do after the show, I’m not sure. I’m also not sure that hollywood or any of the major TV networks has a storyline for a fat, balding man in his mid fortys who has a truck load of baggage has a lot of demand in Hollywood at this time. The comedy gigs will dry up and who knows what happens to Artie. (see jackie martling) Suspend him and maybe ask him to deal with his anger and Bull Shit with a professional. When you lose the love of your life and your “dream job” its time to get some help Artie.
But the real story is how bad of a decision to not put out any official information out. We are all completely shut out from whats going on! Why do I pay $14 a month for? I know just as much as a non subscriber does!! What the fuck does Howard have a news department? They can’t even report on the biggest story of the year? Kim Jong Stern has silenced the news department! Even Howard TV has nothing! I thought they hung Saddam for this shit. No replay….Nothing. Why am I paying $11 bucks a month again? OOOhhh thats right I thought I was paying for the inside “extra stuff”. Bad choice Howard on handling this situation. I will most likely drop the Howard TV after the handling of this situation. Keep Artie on the show and please Howard learn from your mishandling of this situation.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Being suspended and then fired is kind of like be hung and then shot. Doesn’t make sense. I’ll believe it when I hear it.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
When you say “he never got to the guy”, it’s the equivalent of saying “The guy was really drunk, but he didn’t hit anything or anybody on the way home, so what’s the problem?” Or “Well he shot at the guy, but he missed!”
April 16th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Moreover, resigning, the being suspended and then fired doesn’t make sense either..lol
April 16th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
“Suspended pending termination” is a standard HR tool. He’s still getting paid and under benefits while under suspension, but they won’t let him back in the workplace because of liability issues. It covers their ass while they work out the details of the contract buyout. Happens all the time in corporate america.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
And BostonIrish, you’re right on the money. It really does undermine the credibility of “no more bullshit”.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Hey Artie’s Liver, it happens all of the time, infact it’s the exact same thing that happened to Imus with the whole ‘Nappy headed hoe’ thing
April 16th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
On Artie Lange.
At this stage in the overall career of the Howard Stern show there have been numerous permutations of who can fill the Jackie chair. Or at the very least the fourth voice that we all become emotionally invested in as we listen the Howard Stern show unfold. Since Jackie left in 2000 there was a vacuum created that needed to be filled. I believe all parties concerned would agree this is a factual statement. There simply needs to be a third (excluding Fred’s nominal input) that reflects a current generational void that has been created out of both the passage of time, and the longitude of cultural shift. Artie Lange, despite his detractors, has filled that void in all facets. Artie is the land bridge that connects the golden era of “Jackie” stern and current stern. His voice is not only entreating, but inherently relevant. The Stern show has, in the past had the luxury of time when conflicts clash with the passage of time. This is no longer that time. Artie became entrenched, with much praise, as the new permutation of the Howard stern show. His candor, and working stiff background placed him squarely in the crux of what Howard Stern and its interoffice company needed to keep the show both relevant, and reverent. He is a throwback, as well as a flash in the pan. Prefacing the following statement with utmost respect to the past of Sterns tenure at the helm. Lange is a quintessential figure in making a 23 year old Applebee’s host, and a 55 year old CFO enjoy common ground. Artie Lange is no longer a Jackie chair anomaly. Artie Lange is required. As the shows statesmen mature thought the natural progression of life. Lange holds sway with both audience members who both identify with who he is, and those listeners who remember who they once were. Timing is everything here. These are no longer the A.J. Benza years. The engendering of a new character who I am emotional invested in takes time, and circumstance. The alchemy of Artie is not easily repeated. When Jackie left there was no hour glass. Howard as a talent, and time as a buffer allowed a margin for error. If the contract holds true a rotating Jackie chair dilutes the brand, and the experience. The arc of the Howard Stern show has had an iron clad history of landing on its feet. Despite massive shifts in the fault line of the show. I wish the egg timer still had ample spin. It simply does not. As a lifelong fan, I feel, in earnest. That Artie is the fuse of the third act. This removal of Artie leaves the last 2.5 years of the show rudderless. In search of a talent that may be grand, but is implausible in replicating the magic he happened to create. This position does not rest solely on Arties shoulders, but on the pouring sands of the final arc of the whole creation. It would be a travesty if the show found itself floundering as it made its way to the lighthouse. Howard, Fred, Robin and Artie are the crew this of final port of call. The departure of any, sullies the merits of the whole journey. Artie has forged himself as an essential foil for all the members of this motley crew. Artie is not dispensable, Artie is not replaceable. Artie is the embodiment of the cohesion of the golden years of the Howard Stern show. There is simply not enough runway to hope that magic happens again. I implore those in a position of influence to realize that despite Arties misgivings he brings a dose of raw humanity, and realism to the table that the specter of mature and growth have been organically winnowed away. We need Artie. A glaring reflection of our own missteps, and flaws. A person who despite winning. Still burns to lose. Artie is the personification of my generation, and the fading memory of a generation who somehow managed to hash it out before it imploded. No Howard no show. No Robin no show. No Fred no Show. No Artie…no show.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:41 am
You put Jackie back on this show, and it would work again. It would also make sense to bring him in to have him be able to work without a censorship (except when Howard decides to pull replays) net. Have the show go out the way it came in. It’s never felt “right” since Jackie left. Artie is incredible, was incredible, and he is forever linked to the show.
You bring Jackie back in, and see if you can get Billy West to do a week here and there like George does….Jackie Puppet, uncensored? That’s appointment radio right there.
It’s like KISS. Artie’s Eric Singer. He’s was great in his own right and added his own chapter of history to the band. Undeniably so. But KISS is…and always will be Ace, Peter, Paul And Gene. The Howard Stern Show is Howard, Fred, Jackie and Robin. That’s how they came in, and that’s how they should go out. I want the original lineup back.
April 17th, 2008 at 7:19 am
Did anyone really read Cody Watts’s post? Holy Crap!!
Chaunce is a lying POS. I don’t believe a word of what he says.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:25 am
Without Howard there is no show, or Robin, or Fred. But without Artie? Meh…..He talks too much. I want to hear Howard.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:31 am
….and Florida Booey speaks the truth.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Jackie isnt funny, if you dont realize that you are brain dead.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:48 am
Here’s what I think is going to go down…..
They will offer Artie the seat back, but with conditions, namely that Artie undertake anger management or some other type of therapy. Artie will of course refuse, and as such will not be back.
I think Artie’s done. Please don’t bring Jackie back though.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Dear Cody,
You sound like a jailhouse intellectual. Please don’t use words you don’t understand. Your ramblings are embarrassing, give me the douche chills.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:13 am
I also say let’s just wait and see on Monday. Some stuff was said in the heat of the moment, but in the end he made the trip with Teddy, it was no major breakdown, and come on, Howard LOVES this stuff! And if it really is Sirius who pulls the trigger, how ironic would that be? Howard thinks things are so free and easy-going there compared to terrestrial, yet they had actual on-air fistfights (Stuttering John vs that goomba Daily News guy, etc) at K-Rock and no big deal in the end. Come on, Tim Sybian - it’s a problem MADE by humans, it can be SOLVED by humans (w/o the Big Guy being a victim).
April 17th, 2008 at 9:14 am
Chaunce knows Artie’s future as well as I know what Scarlett Johansson’s pussy smells like.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:18 am
I feel the same thing Jim in NYC , except i dont believe Howard loves the escalated violence level where someone could get a physical beatdown..
April 17th, 2008 at 9:21 am
Hey Cody Watts, if you want to be relevant to a board you might want to do a little self editing of your post. I read your first sentence, then your last sentence. HSS was successful before Artie and the HSS will continue to be successful if Artie leaves. End of story.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:28 am
re: BostonIrish saying “But the real story is how bad of a decision to not put out any official information out. We are all completely shut out from whats going on!”
I live for Howard’s show live and in the present and talking about stuff going on NOW. I have no interest in the re-run shows. And inevitably, when they take a week off, something happens in current NYC/US/world events that I can’t wait to hear them all talk about and comment on when they finally come back. So how is this for a killer cliff-hanger - something that actually happend ON THE SHOW that we can’t wait to hear them talk about and resolve in some way. THAT is why he won’t let Howard 100 News cover it at all until they all get back on Monday.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:40 am
According to the above statement from a “reliable source”, Artie cannot get suspended or fired, he already resined. And if in fact he does not come back to the show, this will be my last year of subscribing to sirius. I hated Jackie when he was on the show. Artie is the best thing on the Stern show. I will miss him. Good luck Artie in whatever you do next.
From a former (Ironbound) Newark, NJ resident.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:42 am
So when did we as Stern fans start believing Chaunce? I got nervous when I read the headline until I read it again. Once I saw Chaune’s name, I stopped reading. All credibility goes out the window when he’s involved.
Very well put Florida Booey.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Relax guys i’ll be there Monday, quit all this speculating bullshit
April 17th, 2008 at 10:32 am
FACT: Artie is the most popular guy on the show, even more than Howard.
Losing him would be huge
April 17th, 2008 at 11:00 am
PICK ME, PICK ME!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
April 17th, 2008 at 11:10 am
For those who have said Artie didn’t do anything…he could be charged with assault for what he did. Just because he didn’t touch Teddy doesn’t mean a thing. He threw something at him, charged at him, and DEFINITELY had the intent to harm him. That’s assault. Here is a crazy comparison, but stick with me: if a person fires a gun at someone but misses, it is still a crime, right? Right. Again, the Artie situation is obviously not even close to being as severe, but it’s the same general idea.
I don’t get how this Chauncy story can be right because Artie resigned.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Evileddie speaks the truth. Howard comes up with some v. funny lines*, Fred’s input is pretty indespensible, but Artie is the quickest and most original funny person there. Sucks when he’s not in, that’s all there is to it.
*I have a theory: when Howard has praised Benjy for being a great writer, I never really got that - he’s so unfunny and retarted when he talks, and what exactly is he “writing” anyway? So once I started noticing how Artie is right there with a lightning-fast response to so much stuff while Howard nearly always has a delay before his funnier comments, I got to thinking…could it be Benjy at least writes funny retorts, and Howard has to wait for him to send it to him first? Like I said, just a theory.
Oh, and on top of being so funny, Artie is the ‘Everyman’ that Fred and especially Howard never will be. As interesting as Artie’s life has been, it’s still closer to yours and mine. And while we’re not (all) recovered heroin addicts who tend to drink too much, come on, who is Howard to need to have it explained to him, at age 50-something, what a bar buy-back is???? That’s just odd. Artie’s the guy you could have sitting next to you at a bar or ballgame and just strike up a normal conversation with.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:17 am
hopefully teddy will not press charges. and I don’t think he will.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:18 am
His resignation could have been deemed invalid because of the way it was done - verbally and not in writing. Sirius didn’t want to wait until Artie confirmed his resignation and figured that they would bypass that by suspending him until they could figure the whole thing out. Also, a resignation usually means you give a bit of notice, and they didn’t want him back in the building at all. I therefore think Chaunce’s suspension story makes perfect sense. They also may be trying to do Artie a favor by firing him after the suspension period, rather than accepting his resignation. If they fire him, he probably gets more severence benefits than if he resigned. I am sure he had some sort of golden parachute in his contract.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Jim for NYC you may want to pick up a copy of Miss America or Private Parts Howards books and read them. I think your “theory” has some legs to it. ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 17th, 2008 at 11:42 am
I just spoke with Arties brain he tells me we currently are not concerned with our status on the Stern show. We just received a bottle of jack and and a hand-full of momma Lang’s meatballs. Wait a minute we are now concerned with getting a frosted glass and crushed ice to go with some coke. As you can see we have our own priorities. As you can see Arties brain is one of the more complicated organs around here.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:47 am
FUCK Chaunce!!! You should never use that shitter as a credible source.
Came here to regurgitate Colin Quinn’s statement that it’s the diet talking…but just heard Robin on Howard News and she sounds cuntingly cold, despite being one of the major players that escalated that fiasco to where it got.
Now going to vote FOR Artie’s coming back on Sirius or howard.com—IF Stern capitulates to those morons then HE’S the second coming of Pig Vomit
April 17th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
I agree with a lot of what Jim in NYC writes. I think you can ALWAYS tell when Howard gets a Benjy joke. It’s like 30 seconds after it would have been relevant and usually the least funny of what’s being said. Literally, I can always tell when Howard’s just about to use a lame Benjy joke. I doubt I’m the only one.
Before Artie got back into the heroin, he was very quick. No shit, I thought he was a quick with a comeback as Rickels in his prime. Now, he uses that really raspy caricature voice all the time. It almost sounds like he’s trying to “do” himself, if that makes sense. He seems to think that he’s come up with a character, coincidentally named ‘Artie’, that people obviously must really fucking like. Shit, he gets $75K per weekend to do the whole Artie bit…so he has started to carry that over into the show, because he’s so strung out from the road, he can’t come up with much more.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
I’m amazed at how many people think that bringing Jackie back to the show would actually improve the show. U’ve got to be kidding? Here’s another brilliant idea… everyone in the studio should start clapping their hands after every comment someone makes.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Benjy feeds lines to Artie, too.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Jackie on air wasn’t really anything but his joke writing was quick.
If you watch the old shows, as Howard starts talking about something, Jackie is putting jokes in front of him..like insantly.
Benjy is a idiot and stammers over everything he tries to say.
His writing is like his persona, slow and unfunny.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Someone needs to start a petition.
We need to SAVE BABY GORILLA!
I’d do id do it, but I’m too busy eating cupcakes and drinking Hawaiian Punch.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
I can’t wait till Monday!!! 2 reasons……1st, we’ll find out what’s really going on with this whole Artie deal, and 2nd, maybe some of these ridiculous, speculative comments will go away!
OK, so here’s what I think will happen: Artie will indeed be leaving the show. Howard will present it as a mutual decision, made in the best interest of Artie getting his life back in order and being able to live a lifestyle that doesn’t wreck him, and Howard will say something like “I like Artie, he has tremendous talent and he’s been a tremendous contributor to making our show what it is, and hey, who knows, maybe one day he’ll be back with us.”
Howard’s plan of action for replacing Artie will be to have no immediate plan of action. He’ll just take the show forward and see how things develop. Probably bringing in miscellaneous guest hosts along the way, and eventually one might become a regular….or maybe given the short timespan that may remain with the show being on air, there may never be a full time permanent replacement.
As for Artie, hard to tell. I don’t think he has the mental strength to clean himself up. My best guess is that he’ll fade away, and maybe even drink himself to death or overdose. I’m also guessing for a short time he might be mentioned in the same breath as Belushi, Farley, and Candy, but in the end the fact that he’s just not as talented as any of them will cause his name to be dropped and he’ll be forgotten.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
I’m sure some knuckle head will start a petition to save baby gorilla. I could see Jeff the drunk and a bunch of other zeros picketing the NYC Sirius studio.
With Save baby gorilla signs.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
My plan of action is to consume a six pack tonight right after i beat my wife.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
hey wheres Cody Watts??? I want to read another 2 pages of a mental patients ramblings. I love this comment:
——–
Lange is a quintessential figure in making a 23 year old Applebee’s host, and a 55 year old CFO enjoy common ground.
———
I would say the 23 yearold’s rack may make for better “common ground” then fatties wit but hey everyones entitled to their opinion.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
why don’t they just start the show at 8am instead of 6am, then everybody is happy. the show is broadcasted on the east coast, who the hell is listening in california at 3am? most people work from 8 or 9am to 5pm.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
That’s what they need to do - change the 20 year old schedule to accomodate the marginally talented baby gorilla.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Baby Gorilla’s problem isn’t the time the show starts. Baby Gorrilla has Daddy Gorilla addictions. They’re still with him at 8:00am same as at 6:00am.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
There’s definately some lawyering going on. I can’t find any video anywhere of the incident and I just barely got the audio (the site was shut down shortly after I downloaded it). Also, on howardstern.com, you can’t find any mention whatsoever of the entire show and there was no replay that day or on the weekend.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
his biggest problem WAS the time the show starts. plus other problems of course. he would have time to go out and do some comedy shows during the week and still be awake on the show the next morning.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Well my biggest problem is the time my job starts too. I don’t like 8 am, so I was hoping that the entire company would not mind starting at 10 am so that I could moonlight at my other job.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Nandon’t get it….
April 17th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
If Artie leaves or is suspended….Teddy will forever be remembered as the one who completely FUCKED the show up!!!!! I would NOT wanna be Ted right now…
April 17th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
oh i get it. do you?
April 17th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Wheezdon’t get it either…
April 17th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
kamie, if you become as famous as artie is, then maybe you could complain about your hours at work.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
good point wheez
wait till monday to decide teddy’s demise
April 17th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I doubt they’d change from a 6am start, and if anything they’d go to afternoons as is sometimes discussed. But imagine this ironic victory for Artie: they realize how important he is to the show so they give him even more money, WITH the stipulation that he severely cut down all this weekend business travel he’s doing that is clearly wiping him out (and sign some sort of no-throwing-things promise?). He’d lose some major scratch from the weekend stuff, but somewhat make up for it in the extra show salary. And hell, they take so much ^&#$^* vacation now, he could fit plenty of gigs in during weeks like this.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
everybody’s a wanna be shrink.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Artie is famous because he rode in on famous coattails. I can’t wait to hear “Waaaaah” and “Fiyah” on the Jokemaster Jr.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
oh, i agree to that.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Jim….afternoons are not going to happen. They all want their free time after the show to enjoy the day and evenings, and by moving to the afternoon that would cut their available free time way down. NEVER going to happen.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
does anybody else think this… artie exploded that day because he’s tired of everyone taking advantage of his kindness with his cash? plus the fact he got screwed by his bookie and that last gig he did in florida? I would tell his bookie to take out another mortgage on his house to pay him.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I thought Artie was not under any contract and just worked at will. Baba-booey has said it many times on the wrap-up show that Artie does not have a contract. If this is the case then why would Sirius have to work on a buyout? F- Chaunce.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
I think Artie exploded because he is an addict, and in all likelihood it was a coke rage. He is totally using again. As the product of two addicts, I can smell one a mile away.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Nandon’t….I’m not here to bash you….just wanted to make a point that Artie’s problems run way deeper than what time he has to be at work for the show. Changing the start time is actually not a bad idea…though 8:00am sounds a bit too late. I think Howard’s thought process is impacted a lot by the New York City culture…people waking up early to take their trains, commute, etc. The average NYC employee is up and moving by 6:00am, maybe even earlier, and Howard wants to be there for them. Not sure Howard wants to abandon that idea of being there for his NYC fans 1st thing in the morning.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Nando gets it……
I think I would have a problem working a 25hour work week, and getting up at 6am would be to painful. especially when I was cashing that meager check. Maybe they could do the show from Arties bed. One ISD line later and boom! Fatboys broadcasting from his fridge.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
that’s a shame then. how much blow you think Artie did in Amsterdam?
April 17th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I don’t care what the problem is…I WANT ARTIE BACK!
April 17th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I honestly did not expect him to come back from Amsterdam on two feet. I really expected him to die there. As much as I am joking about it, whatever happens, I do really feel bad for Artie. He is truly his own worst enemy. I just don’t think he will ever get help. It’s sad.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Now Arties Heart has the best idea yet - get an ISDN line into Artie’s apartment in Hoboken, so that he can lie in bed and comment, like Ralph.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I don’t know how much blow can a person do in a 24 hour period?
April 17th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
My wife had a 24 hour period…I couldn’t get one good blow out of her…
April 17th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
LMAO…
April 17th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Give me Artie’s chair…..I’ll be there by 5:45am every morning!
April 17th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
hey, you’re better than Benjy!
i hate him, he can’t speak.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Ok so we take a 24 hour period convert blowjobs to grams. So one gram every 24 hour now subtract 10 hours a day for eating 13 hours a day for sleep and 2 hours a day for crying I mean “weeping”. Which mean Amsterdamn owes artie .5 grams of blow.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I agree, Can’t Wait…, that afternoons will never happen - just mentioning that they ‘discuss’ it. As far as the 6am start, your explanation above is very sound. One other thing I would add, though, is that as much of a groundbreaking renegade as Howard has been, he still lives and breathes radio and lots of its historic protocol, one of which stipulates that ‘morning drive time radio’ starts no later than 6am, people are at least getting up by then if not already in their cars.
And I second Nando on the Artie generosity angle. The guy gives and gives, and all we hear about is him getting scammed again and again (plus that a-hole Ralph mentioned problems with the new shore house). And how about the discrepancy in salary claims - Teddy saying he gets $24k and Artie claiming it’s $45k (PLUS the loans)??? Then Teddy has the balls to threaten to announce Artie’s ‘07 income, as if to say it’s so much that he shouldn’t care what he does with it? That (and Howard goading it all on) played a big part in what happened. Maybe it’s all been struck from the record (that day’s playback, stern.com run-down) to protect more than just Artie…
April 17th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Okay, for all of you true “Stern Show” fans out there, do you really believe Chaunce?
Artie will be back.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
I was at the gotham comedy club in january when artie performed. he has a big entourage. I saw jd and about another 5 people with him. and he pays everybody that goes with him. I walked by jd when he was standing behind that glass wall at the club, I said…what’s up jd. his reply was..what up. and he was wearing the sirius sweatshirt. he wanted to make sure everybody knew who he was.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Agree….Artie’s had plenty of stuff coming down on his shoulders lately. Obviously that’s part of the equation.
Here’s a thought I have that relates: Artie’s an angry addict. He’s even angry at himself for being an addict. Since he can’t beat it, he tries to work the other end…find/manufacture good things about himself to counter the angry addict. One way for him to feel better about who he is, is for him to “be a good guy” when he has a chance….thus he’s generous with his money, offers to give fans tickets, take them to Vegas, give to charities, etc. By doing so, he’s able to convince himself that Artie’s not an angry addict….Artie’s a generous good guy. Problem is….behind the good guy effort, Artie’s an angry addict.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Can’t Wait….interesting observation.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Can’t wait - don’t we all kind of do that, to a certain extent? Try to counterbalance the bad with doing some good?
April 17th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I hate to say it but I bet Chauncey is totally right on this.
It makes sense.
Sirius is a company and it has to be “corporate” to some degree and when a guy starts attacking fellow employees it could lead to a lawsuit (from the attacked person) for them letting it continue without doing anything about it.
I will miss Artie in some ways, of course; but the truth is Artie has been really slacking lately, brings a certain depression to the show and the show will be better off without him IF Howard can find a Good replacement. I doubt Fitzsimmons would work out - he seems too much like a standup comedian, not an off-the-cuff mixer-upper…
Artie wanted to be fired. Artie hates getting up early.
Whaaaaaa! I hate getting up early! Whaaaaa! I’ll threaten employees with violence until they fire me because I don’t have the balls to just say “I need to quit this and move on with my life”. Whaaaaa!
Artie is a big baby just like that guy on that rehab show! Whaaaa! Whaaaa! Whaaaaaaaaa!
April 17th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
I wish I lived closer to the city or back in my hometown newark, nj. I would love teddy’s job. I would also have that bookie pay Artie all the money that he owes him. UNLESS he did and Artie lied to keep the irs off his back. nah, artie wouldn’t do that.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Who would have thought that a bit player like Teddy would turn out to be the Stern show’s own Steve Bartman…
April 17th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Absolutely. I know I tend to think of myself as an all-around good guy…..and sometimes conveniently forget about all the times I act like an A-hole.
I think Artie’s in a different situation. Not only does he sometimes act like an A-hole, he’s got major addiction problems. In my opinion, he’s an alcoholic, a drug addict, a food addict, and an attention addict.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Artie is the link to the common working man on the show. he is just like one of us. He has hissy fits and flips out on his personal assistant while working at his multimillion dollar a year, 5 hour a day, 4 day a week job - just like one of us. He gets upset over the fact that work on his enormous summer beach home isn’t going as planned, just like one of us.
It’s so hard for us “regular guys” to find good help these days.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
If Sirius really does have a corporate image to protect, why stop at Artie having to go? Wouldn’t they have to stop letting these multiple-felonious rapper dudes in as guests, and Danny Bonaduce who has assaulted people, Henry Hill and Don King who have KILLED people, and Ralph, who may have never committed such crimes but somehow seems worth mentioning here nonetheless?
April 17th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Yea, but Jim, the ones that you mention are not Sirius employees.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
artie will be back.
he shouldn’t be. he’ll be neutered. howard will dial down the conversations with him when things to heated from now on and it will make for pussy radio…
but artie will be back.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
True, Kamie, they are not employees. Oh well, maybe then the loophole to be worked here is that Artie has no contract in place (if it’s true that Babbabooee has said that on the Wrap-Up Show) and isn’t technically an employee (and I guess it is likely they ‘hired him’ under such circumstances, since it would avoid another Jacky situation, and since Howard-Fred-Robin are the true nucleus since forever, so only those three should really have contracts?).
April 17th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
I’ll bet he is getting a W-2 from Sirius, as an employee or contractor. He certainly isn’t a temp from Kelly Services.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
ARTIE RESIGNED, AND HOWARD ACCEPTED. SIRIUS DOES NOT HAVE TO BUY HIS CONTRACT OUT. CHAUNCE IS AN DICKSQUEZZER.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
I dunno…they know Howard’s show is their cash cow and they know crazy stuff happens on and in relation to the show, and hopefully they know what Artie brings to the equation. Hell, they’ve had Richard go down to the Martha Stewart channel and start stripping* in front of a bunch of unsuspecting yentas, they should put up with Artie’s tantrums!
*well, they didn’t TELL him to do that, but he did anyway as an employee representing the show
April 17th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
It’s not Teddy’s fault that Artie is an f’ing loser. It’s ARTIE’s fault! Teddy hasn’t ruined the show. If Artie is done, and I hope he is, the show won’t be ruined. I think Howard does such a good job of incorporating other people into the show that it seems like it couldn’t survive without them (i.e. Billy West & Jackie). The show was great without them, too, and it’ll be great after that fat load is gone.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
artie has to come back, the days he is out “sick” totally suck…and please don’t bring back jackie, the show would be ruined…hopefully a short suspension and then back to normal…and chaunce blows.
April 17th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Anybody in the Union County area and planning to attend his show at Union HS tonigt? If so, obviously do report back anything he says.
Oh, and this could mean good news - his Lunch w/ Artie auction is still listed here (hopefully Miles August doesn’t outbid everyone):
http://www.charityfolks.com/cfauctions/auction_verticalngo.asp?slrid=1038
April 17th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Anyone that doesn’t like Artie is an absolute moron. He IS the show these days. When he is absent, I can hardly listen. He’s got a huge heart, quick wit, and nobody on the show consistently delivers off the cuff humor like Artie. Jackie Martling is a f’ing Vaudeville comic. He is pathetic. Howard only put him to work because his humor is so bad and corny that he annoyed people to death.
The only, and I mean ONLY possible replacement in my eyes is Nick DiPaulo. He is seasoned on the radio, shoots from the hip, and is consistently funny. One problem - He’s Artie’s best buddy. I can’t believe I am even on here, but Artie means that much to me as a listener. Ineed to get a fucking life.
April 17th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
TDub is right on - it is HOWARD that does a good job of incorporating people into the show. That is his gift.
April 17th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Kamie and TDub - What the f*** are you smoking and please mail me some!!!! Artie makes the show. Howard is the consumate pro, but he himself has never been better than he is now with Artie next to him. Artie delivers lines and commentary that Howard is unable to, because he has become the elitist rich out of touch dude that he is. Who the f*** plays chess online all day and is afraid to leave their house? No one can relate to that shit. Artie forges a bond between an everyday man and someone like Howard. Robin is high brow, Howard is high brow, and Fred is silent (but deadly with his effects and rare commentary). That show hums becasue of Artie. There is nothing funnier in the history of Stern, and I am a LONG TIME listener, then when Artie gets into exchanges with various wack packers like Eric the Midget or High Pitch Mike. I mean it, the show is over with in my eyes if he is gone. Nick DiPaulo MAYBE can keep my subscription, but anyone else and the show is dead. Listening to these Mammary Lane playbacks with Jackie and pre-Artie are torturous, and are lame by comparison to Artie. When he is on, which is even when he is off and sleeping or soemthing like that, the show is hard to turn off. When he is absent, I’d rather be working. So, in summation, if Artie leaves maybe I will be more successful at my job, because I sure won’t sit in the parking lot burning gas for fear of missing what is going to happen on the show. It will be a bore fest. Don’t do it, Artie, don’t do it, Sirius, HAVE SOME SENSE ABOUT YOUS
April 17th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
sooooooooooooooooo right duuuuuuuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeeeeeee