“You know you are a ticking time bomb” exclaimed Howard.

Howard noticed during Robin’s news that baby gorilla Artie’s arms were lacking hair and asked him if he shaved his arms. Artie thought that he has been losing hair on his arms and legs as he gets older or fatter. Questions started flying around to what could be causing this. Artie the self-proclaimed hypochondriac started getting worried and stressed out. Howard told him to get a check up and that he knows what he needs to do to reverse it. But can it be reversed? Is it too late?

Thyroid? Weight? Drinking? Is this a symptom of an underlying health problem or just natural taking its course on a man who has done more damage to it than part-time sadist.

Total: $550.00 — What a year!

I was very surprised this year when I started seeing the dollar amounts of the donations coming in. As with last year, my expectations were set pretty low. I don’t expect, nor do I ask anyone to send in more than just a couple dollars. I always thought if a lot of people sent in just a few bucks – that would yield a huge amount. Thankfully the opposite happens. We had just 17 people donate but the amount each person sent in was very generous.

$550.00 (Paypal fees / deduction - $21.14) = $528.86 to be given to the DFGI.

The Big Donor

A gorilla-size thanks must go to Samuel Windham this year. His record setting donation of a $150.00 blew my mind and was more than SBG raised last year. Not only is he extremely generous with his wallet but he has also agreed to share the “memento” that I was only going to give to the biggest donor.

Due to the size of our collection, I decided to change the breakdown of the donation to the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund and in turn give a few more top donors a memento.

The top 5 donors along with our big donor will receive a DFGI adoption certificate with Artie’s name on it. There should be a couple little extras along with that. The same thing Artie was presented to last year by Steve Langford. Note: I think they have changed the certificate design from last year. Click here to see it.

Samuel Windham (mother and infant certificate)

Thomas Nealon (baby gorilla certificate)
Mark Harrison (baby gorilla certificate)
Linda Leiva (baby gorilla certificate)
Allison (baby gorilla certificate)
Scott Gotshall (baby gorilla certificate)

* Steve Langford will also be receiving one as well for the great job mentioning this on the show. A very special thanks goes to him.

As with last year, a small part of the money will be to register Save Baby Gorilla as a member of the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund.

Thank you all for your donations. No donation was too small. You all have made this a successful year and I look forward to next year – if Artie is still on the show. LOL

I will email each of the people above and verify your address to send you the package. Please wait a few weeks for everything to go through.

If you are a cynical fan of Artie Lange, which I am at times, you might find yourself rolling your eyes at some of the quotes found in a recent interview/article over at newsday.com.

“Yeah, there’s a party persona, but I’m 40 and I decided I may want to see 50,” said Lange, calling from his home in Hoboken, N.J. “If I partied nearly as much as some people think I do, I’d be dead. I don’t want that. Nobody wants that - at least I don’t think they do. Some Web sites that predict my early death might want it, but I’m doing my best to disappoint them.”

“I am a gambler. I love sports. I talk about that,” he explains. “I like betting on sports still. I like going to Atlantic City and playing some games. I still drink. I haven’t done blow in a long time, but I still talk about it. I did it enough to get enough — material about that.

“If I was partying like I used to, there’s no way I’d have the job I have,” he continues. “For seven years, I’ve been getting up at 4:45 and I’m at work at 6 a.m…. When I first got the gig, I would try doing stand-up sets during the week in New York and then maybe go drinking.

“I tried staying up all night a couple of times, going straight from the bar to the diner to the studio and that doesn’t work, man. Howard will call you on it. I tried going in hung over, I tried everything. The only thing that works is ‘Look, I’m gonna take this seriously’ like Howard. You get into bed at 8, 9 o’clock and you try to fall asleep.”

“Look, it’s a sacrifice,” he says. “I’ve left Yankee World Series games early because the biggest thing in my life came along and it involves me getting up early. . . . You gotta hunker down and take something seriously.”

“As far as I knew, I didn’t have any anger problems. I’ve never really been in a fight-fight since I was like 20. I’m 40 now. My assistant - well, he doesn’t work with me anymore, but that’s just because he felt that he would be better off just working there - he’s a great kid.

“I’ve never been involved with a project like ‘The Howard Stern Show’ that’s actually a hit. When I was on ‘Mad TV’ the first year, I left that show even worse - high on coke, I took a swing at a cop - nobody cared about that. With this, it’s a credit to Howard. I have to pinch myself sometimes because it’s the biggest radio show of all time - nothing’s even close to it - and I’m on it. There’s great stuff about that and there can be bad stuff. You do good, it’s great. You — up, it’s amplified and that’s what happened. I came back humbled. You apologize and you move on to the next midget stripper.”

Read the full article here. (by Glenn Gamboa)