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“Actually, I can’t talk about it. I’ll spill my guts another day. I’m actually doing something sensible and listening to a lawyer,” said Artie Lange, talking about his arrest last Friday for Suspicion of DUI after a traffic accident.
Artie explained that he was on the way back from the pharmacy to pick up antibiotics for his sick mother when the accident occurred. No wonder the police arrested him, it sounds made up already. Of course, this is just the beginning of another story in a life that turned a book into a best seller. Artie said, “It wasn’t even an accident…no, not really.” Two 20-year-old kids were in the other car involved in the collision. They both recognized Artie and were adamant that they were not close to being hurt. Artie said they were both “cool with it”.
At the time of the accident, Artie was driving a Nissan Sentra. He explained that it was a rental car because his Mercedes was in the shop getting around $8,000 worth of repairs done to it. Back in June, Artie had parked his car over night at the airport. When he returned the following day, he noticed that his car was damaged and whoever was at fault had already left the scene. Artie’s friend and director of Beer League, Frank Sebastiano called Artie to joke about how bad it looks that he was driving a Senta.
Once the police arrived, Artie was given a Breathalyzer, in which he passed with a 0.0. He swears that he was not drinking, nor was he taking any illegal drugs. However, he did say that he had just started taking a prescription for Lexapro. He said the cops were very nice and cordial about everything.
After the arrest, Artie was taken to jail and only stayed there for about an hour and a half. Artie recounted, “Oddly enough, I am very familiar with those surroundings. It was weird being in a cell, I was like, I’ve been here before.” He thought it was his 18th time he had been arrested. While there he was given a urine test to check for narcotics. Artie said that he voluntarily took all the tests.
Artie’s court date is scheduled for this Friday. He said he is taking this all very seriously since it is a DUI and can lose his license and possibly work. Artie joked about his mug shot, “I already had a mug shot, I think I was happy with my first couple…and what I must look like in this mug shot because I hadn’t showered yet and neglected to shave the entire vacation.”
I love Artie, but why would we ever believe anything he says?
we wouldn’t. i hate that i liked him better on heroin.
As he is a celebrity, he will get off on an impaired driving charge, with a small fine and no probation.
I meant careless driving charge.
@sal careless driving is a pretty weak charge here in Texas – I got one in 2002 in Arlington, Texas and it was just a couple of hundred dollars and as long as I got no other tickets in a year it was dropped.
He is lying about some or all. His “story” does not equal arrest, jail, etc…
EXACTLY JESS!!!
Sheesh! It took them long enough to get to it… and they fookin’ knew that everybody was listening to hear Artie’s story and they milked it for two friggin’ hours.
Worst of all (and I presumed this would happen, too), Artie couldn’t really talk about it because it was still an open legal case. However, based on what Artie did say (and we all know that his word isn’t worth a jelly donut these days), there could well be nothing to see here. His breathalyzer was allegedly 0.0 (again, this is Artie’s word so it must be taken with a grain of salt until independently verified). Additionally, he claims that the only “drug” he was on was a prescribed dose lexapro. Lexapro is an anti-depressant and, while it is often prescribed to the same kind of (depressed/anxious) people as benzodiazapams (i.e. tranquillizers of the valium and xanax class), it is not recreational in any way and, thus, can’t really be abused. The typical drug screen checks for five classes of drugs: Pot, opiates, benzos, cocaine and speed so lexapro will not even show up. The point of all of this is that, if Artie was telling the truth during the 8 am discussion (and that is a HUGE if), the DUI will be thrown out. At worst, he will have to pay the careless driving ticket and go right back to falling asleep during Joan Rivers’ segments and obnoxiously interupting all other guests.
At this time, I’ve asked Artie not to comment so as not to hurt our long, steady working relationship
If his breathalyzer was 0.0 (did the play the Animal House clip here?) why would he be charged with a DUI? That makes no sense.
Oh, and his poor, sick mother. PUHLEEEZE! What a fat, lying, junkie.
NO…he said he was thinking of the show when the breathalyzer came back 0.0
FWIW, it really is totally normal and expected that Artie’s lawyer…. really any lawyer worth a damn… would tell him NOT to talk about the details of the case until it is resolved, especially on the air where the tapes can be subpoenaed. Just like they say when reading the Miranda Rights of anybody arrested, “anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.” This includes anything Artie might say on the air. Now, having said that, we can all agree that, based on past experience, Artie does NOT deserve the benefit of the doubt at this point. As such, I will believe he is innocent ONLY after the tests prove it. Until then, at least in my mind, he is guilty until proven innocent.
“A new three-year deal for Ryan Seacrest will keep him hosting American Idol as well as pursuing new projects”
Howard must be creaming his pants this morning!!! Three more years of American Idol!!!!!
Maybe Artie ate some muffins with Poppyseeds.
….or maybe he was eating some muffins with poppyseeds and one of the muffins accidentally fell into one of his vein and went directly into his bloodstream.
even if art is keeping quiet for his lawyer, he would do well to shut his trap until he can get all of his lies straight. i love him, but as with most addicts, you could set your watch by their behavior. lie, use, get in trouble, lie, “get clean,” lie, get a DUI, lie some more. second verse same as the first.
How can I hook up with Arties ex Daner? She is a hot school teacher. How do her students not make tents in their pants everyday?
Are Artie’s 15 minutes of fame over yet ??? The guy is painful to listen to. He has the same banal one-liners about Jersey, hookers and heroin .. and of course “How ’bout ten grand to bang ya?” He really believes that he will have this huge career after Howard retires – it’s laughable! He’ll be back on the loading docks in 3 years
he’d have to do a lot of H before losing enough money that he has to go back to the docks. and imagine his reception if he did go back there.
Hello everybody. Glad to be back.
As for the Fat Fisherman, take it from someone who knows how to drive drunk and get away with it, Artie’s story is pure bullshit.
There has to be probable cause for the cops to submit Artie for a breathalyzer. I’ve been in a few auto accidents and never once was I asked to breath into the tube of doom….especially durring the daylight hours.
Now take into account that the fat guy is 1. Diving a car that is not registered in his name and 2. HAS PRESCRIPTION DRUGS THAT ARE NOT IN HIS NAME, and maybe that’s the issue.
But wait a minute, if I had been arrested 18 times over the course of my life, I would have an attorney on retainer…..or better yet, know one who is a regular on my boss’ radio show. If I blew a 0.0, could produce the rental car agreement and have my mama call the police to tell them “Artie was picking up my prescription”, then hey you would think the cops would not file any charges.
Hell, MJ has been dead for nearly 3 weeks and no one has been charged!
This one stinks to high hell.
I added a POLL to the bottom of this post. Please participate
Here is what annoys me more than anything when Artie goes on one of these jaunts, is when he throws out the “my job is in jeopardy” nonsense. C’mon does anyone believe Howard would fire him? This stuff is awesome for the show.
If fat boy blew a 0.0 they would not have followed up with urine drug tests unless they had probable cause. I talked to a few guys(police) over the weekend from wall and belmar whatever they know they won’t say a word to me about it. I asked if he failed the field sobriety test and they said they where not there. So basically I learned nothing.
Also what did they arrest him for? This guy is so full of shit it’s not funny. Th
Well that too, AH, if he blew a 0.0 and he cooperated; unless he had an outstanding warrant, why in the hell would he have been arrested?
Didn’t some news reports say that he APPEARED to be under the influence of something. Which means, maybe it was the Lexapro, maybe he was driving in a way or acting in a way that seemed questionable to where the police officers doubted his word. If he blew a 0.0 and the cops had other suspicions then he would be taken into custody. The breathalyzer will only show alcohol. He does have a history of heroin.
I’ve been mulling this over all morning. Basically, while I am NOT saying that I definitely believe Artie’s version of events, I DO find it plausible. Typically, there are lots of red flags in Artie’s stories right from the start. I don’t see that here (besides the fact that Artie is a known and admitted liar).
Let’s look at it logically. Artie and his past are well-known. He gets into a fender bender. The police arrive and immediately recognize that the person responsible is a known drug addict who was looking extremely disheveled (Artie said he had not shaven for the entire vacation and had not yet showered that day). In any case, the accident along with Artie’s look would be more than sufficient for probable cause. The breathalyzer proved there was no booze in his system, but, again, everybody knows that Artie’s problems are mostly drug-related, so, of course, they are going to check for drugs, too. In fact, they would be negligent if they didn’t. I would not be the least bit surprised if the urine test also comes back clean…. On the other hand, I also wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if the urine test came back dirty.
Thank God I only deal with entertainment type legalities.
AF: I am just thinking out loud here, but like I said in my post above, I think the the officers might have based their opinion that he looked under-the-influence on the fact that he looked like a homeless person after not shaving in two weeks and not showering yet that day.
Let’s face it. If you were cop and arrived at an accident scene to see the person responsible was a known drug-addict who was unshowered with two-weeks growth of beard (probably chain-smoking cigarettes, too) you would probably get in trouble if you did NOT check him for sobriety.
@Long Time First Time – no offense, but your posts show a general lack of understanding about police procedure and the law itself. You don’t administer field tests which lead to an arrest just because you think you know something about an individual’s past. Since he wasn’t detained on an outstanding warrant, you can perfectly well assume Artie was slurring his words and/or his pupils didn’t respond to a flashlight sweep. Lexapro doesn’t affect a user like that, by the way. I’m betting opiates or cocaine. Artie is lying to everyone again.
Who wants to bet the “right time” to discuss this will be during the next book tour?
F Artie Bring me back, I got new material
Whats the hardest thing about eating bald pussy?
Putting the diaper back on (insert Jackie laugh)
Did anyone else notice how “Team Bruno” has tried to extinguish any bad reviews in advance by buying ad space on popular websites that normally would have rightfully ripped him a new one? Normally, this kind of outlandish gay character would have offended Perez Hilton right out of his pink panties, but since Bruno is now a big sponsor, there is nothing but disgusting praise. Same with WWTD.com…Bruno is a sponsor and no bashing. Now Howard Stern. Howard is too smart to have honestly like this movie. It is the worst movie I have seen in years. (watched it online) But since “Bruno” is a big guest, Howard falls over his nose to suck dick. Ridiculous. More importantly, UNFUNNY.
ARGGHHH. This Bruno interview is ridiculous!! Howard is obviously asking pre-scripted questions, which I thought he would never do. EPIC FAIL.
@sc ralph – you 100% about proper police procedure.
however, please understand that in these times we are living in, the rules are skirted very frequently without regard to someone’s celebrity. see these links:
http://ballhype.com/story/ryan_moats_police_stop_video_detained_while_mother_in/
http://www.prisonplanet.com/uk-man-arrested-for-imitating-alex-jones-waking-life-rant.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bVa6jn4rpE
It’s important to recognize that our perceptions are always subjective, so if someone knew Artie’s history, they’d be more likely to “detect” something that otherwise wouldn’t be a flag. In addition, police ask for consent and if you don’t realize that you are waiving your rights by giving consent you can easily put yourself under suspicion.
BTW – I don’t think Artie’s clean or seeing a shrink, I just think it’s important to recognize that the whole system is (like our BG) full of shit these days.
@Kristin – I didn’t think about it until your insightful points, but you are absolutely correct.
Much respect to you all – let’s hope tomorrow’s show doesn’t suck like today’s. Maybe Howard is letting us down easy by lowering the quality for these next 18 months. Let’s hope NOT!
I want the last 5 hours back, please……………
Of course the show sucked cause I’m not there Heeee Heeee Haa Haa
What’s black and brown and looks good on a black man?
My Doberman (jackie laugh)
I’m Killin’
About the Poll Question,
One thing I never understood……why do people answer a poll question by saying “I don’t know/Im not sure”?
Its either Yes or No, or dont answer until you have formed an opinion, asshat?
Whats worse, are the idiots who spend $.75 on a phone call to voice their non-opinion.
Switzerland called, they want their fence back!
Why’d the feminist cross the road?
To suck my cock Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Did you hear about the blind gynecologist?
He reads lips (jackie laugh)
I got a joke for everything
Sycophantic CR: I don’t disagree with you on any of your points. I was just playing devil’s advocate… or I guess in this case, angel’s advocate… trying to find a plausible explanation for Artie’s story and admittedly it is not very easy. lol. FWIW, Jersey Shore cops are not exactly famous for being slaves to proper procedures either, especially at the height of the summer season when every other car is potentially driven by a drunken, punk teenager…. not to mention the many Nissan Sentras driven by 40 y.o. “reformed” H-addicts.
Cops have plenty of experience with people “under the influence”. If they bust someone you’re pretty much guilty. Sadly Artie is big time liar and addict…period. A fancy lawyer can keep this out of courts for years while working every angle..don’t expect to see this in court any time soon. I’d love to see Art clean up hope this is bottom.
artie is a lying liar who lies. he’s lying about this incident just like he lies about everything else. unfortunately, because he is a celebrity, he will probably get away with a slap on the wrist. which is significantly less than what howard will do to him. howard enables artie. he’s going to enable him right into an early grave. oh well. if the fat guy wants to kill himself then let him. why should anybody care about such an arrogant, entitled, bratty little liar?
Listening to the replay, Artie said his BAL was 0.2 (actually .02), but Howard didn’t hear the .2 part and thought Artie was saying 0.0 because of the show.
And everyone EVERYWHERE claims their cops are the worst, or the stupidest, or the most corrupt. I’m afraid he might be doing speed to lose weight. That will send him into cardiac arrest sooner, rather than later.
OMG I am listening to Artie bumble his way through his “explanation” right now. So full of shit, but then all addicts usually are. Now he is recounting his time in Vegas, honestly leave the guy alone let him do what he wants to do and get on with the show!
I hope he goes into cardiac arrest soon so I can get back in that seat Heeeeeeeeeeeeee Heeeeeeeeeeee haha
A gynecologist cames home from work.
His wife says “Are you tired?”
He says, Whew, I’m bushed” (jackie laugh)
Why’d did so many black guys die in Vietnam?
Because every time somebody yelled “Get down!” they’d get up and dance
Hee Hee
I can’t stop, I’m killin’
@Alpharaider definitely want my 5 hours back to. Maybe Howard needs a few more days off to pull together a decent show. The “good” parts of today’s show were the old clips like the swap shop “charred walls of the damned” clip …
@sc ralph – check those links above, cops are pretty corrupt all over these days. Ever see the clip of the murder by the san fran cop in the subway?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Za1lRcSZJ10
Wake up, *all* people. there’s some serious shit going on. The reason I’m pissed at BG has nothing to do with his abuse or lack of abuse of anything. It’s because he really became annoying on the show since he was “clean” … and I agree, he’s lost weight at the rate of a drug abuser.
Artie just purchased me.
How do you make five pounds of fat look pretty?
Put a nipple on the end Haaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha
What did the lady on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
Get outta my son (Jackie laugh)
Artie can’t match me
@BB – I thought Artie just sold you to Howard.
@Jokeman – didn’t you mean DEAF earlier? Blind people don’t read lips.
Guy catches his kid jerking off, he says “Son don’t do that you’ll go blind!!”
The son says “Pop I’m over here” Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Much like the real Jokeman, the shtick is getting old.
Why don’t witches wear any underwear?
So they can get a good grip on thier broomsticks
Haaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Come on Stern I’m killin’
@artiefan – it sure sounds like the real jackie
The real Jackie would be trying to get us to buy coffee mugs with his face on it by now.
How can you tell an auto mechanic just had sex?
One of his fingers is clean Heee heee haha
For those of you who has a iPhone be sure to purchase The Jackie Button!!!!!!!
Only 99 cents for all my great jokes and wacky sounds from the show (you know, when the show was at its greatest)
A guy said to a friend “I can’t remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer’s”
His friend says “Its simple. Drive her to the other side of town, if she finds her way home, don’t fuck her”
heee he
HEYYYY
What about ME? I was here first!
WOOOOOOOWHOOOOOOOOOOOO
Good to hear from you old buddy. We were the best combo in radio history
hee heeeee
What would you call the bouncer at a gay bar?
A Flamethrower
Whoo Hooo
ok dude, really. I get. We get it. Its funny at times. But lets keep it “topical” and cut back on the spamming. Thank you (Ben Stern voice)
Hello.
What do you say to a Lay with no tits?
Nothing Whoooo Hooooooo
What brown and hides in a attic?
The diarrhea of Anne Frank
Heheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I feel a Jackie “buton” being pressed. The stop button. Oh how easily I can do it. Please…
@artiefan where’s the “hide” button next to the comments so i don’t have to scroll past all of these in-depth assessments of Artie’s situation and hackey jokes?
oops I meant lady with no tits
Sorry I love Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed
whoooooooooooooooooHooooooooooo
You know, I’d always kind of missed Jackie. Heck, I happened to be driving yesterday afternoon listening to the HOH II when they were covering the Philly funeral and, best of all, the Jackie apology. I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard that clip before and I still laughed harder yesterday than all the other times combined:
“I just want to apologize to my wife Nancy for the Jessica Hahn bathtub incident. It was stupid and I’ll never do anything like that again and I love you and I am very sorry…. This is sincere…. don’t make a mockery…., etc., etc., etc.
Anyway, the point of this ramble is that, after an afternoon of reading Jackie-quality jokes (actually higher quality than Jackie) on here, I am already bored with him again. Keep playing diners, Jackie. That is where you belong. Don’t come back to the stern show. When Artie finally self-destructs, I would prefer that they give the Jackie chair to Ralph.
HA! And I was accused of highjacking!
What do you call a sidewalk full of dead people?
Artie after a few Jack n Cokes
heee hooo
I even wrote new Artie material
@Long Time First Time: I agree, thanks.
I just want to apologize to my wife Nancy for the Jessica Hahn bathtub incident. It was stupid and I’ll never do anything like that again and I love you and I am very sorry…. and please don’t make a mockery of this
@Artiefan – I was about to suggest a bitter-blocker to remove Jokeman earlier then thought better of asking for censorship. Glad to come back and see u indicating your wisdom –
SAVE BABY GORILLA!!!!!!!
Let’s hope tomorrow’s show is decent.
Hey jackie poster, what the f? You’ve become the hate man of jackie-isms. Kinda funny at first, but takes a wrong turn..ya know? We get it, ha ha, move on dude.
By the way, even the story about how arties mercedes got damaged sounds like completely fabricated. Seems like shit like this only happens to artie.
I don’t know any drug addicts, but I guarantee you they all have their bullshit tales of being victims of circumstance.
You know, that not much is his own fault or of by his own actions. Its always “you’re not gonna believe this” type of tales. I used to. Not anymore.
When Robin’s Boob Sweat won’t swallow it, you know it’s bs.
People who don’t know addicts (or even “abusers”) probably believe a lot of BS. Personally, sometimes when I overhear excuses, it’s hard not to say, “hey, your (friend/spouse/lover/employee/boss/whatever) is a fucking doper. and not some casual pot or coke once a year on a birthday kinda doper either”…
I guess it’s good that I can restrain myself, because most of the receivers of the excuses will quickly jump to the defense of (friend/spouse/lover/employee/boss/whatever). As Richard would say, my favorite is when the defense is, “(friend/spouse/lover/employee/boss/whatever) has always been like that” which just means they’ve been using a long time.
Sadly, I’ve lost faith in my Artie.
I did a show for 200 midgets once
I got a standing ovation and didn’t even know it
Hoohoo
Love
Jokeman
You’re right boob, addicts have a purpetual black cloud that hangs over them every second of every day.
My son has about 4 months clean and sober now (after numerous tries) and he used to tell some tales that were incredible! Bad things ALWAYS happened to him and would SWEAR that he wasn’t doing any drugs or drinking. He’s finally admitting to all of the stupid shit he did. Until the gorilla gets honest with himself he’s gonna have a hard time staying off of anything.
What’s 18 inches long and makes women scream?
Crib Death
hehe hahahaha
Alright Jokeman, I temp. blocked your IP to see if you would stop and then unblocked it. Apparently I was wrong.
Let’s not forget that no matter how viciously Artie attacks him, Dr. Drew is most likely right. He might be a fame seeking douche, but he knows his shit with regard to addiction. I was listening to Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew 12 years ago on LoveLive, and I think Drew is more sincere than perhaps his VH1 shows might indicate.
It’s easy to see that Artie’s own fame has gone to his head, and he simply can’t handle it. He thinks he’s smarter than everyone else because he makes $80k a night. (eye roll) That’s what happens when the life you have led up until the explosion of fame doesn’t properly prepare you to handle the new issues you face. Artie’s kinda like Lindsay Lohan. More money than brains, and a fucked up family life that leaves you ill prepared for the trappings of B-list celebrity. (although after the Joe Buck fiasco, I think BG’s star is rapidly fading)
I believe “Lexapro” is the reason BG seemed under the influence as I believed that “the schedule” was why BG was falling asleep at the show. I wrote it before I have hired/fired people in my life as a manager in retail and that stuttering/never owning up to your own faults is a pattern that never fails. At what point is Artie sorry for anything he does? Or when is anything ever his fault?
“I can’t wait spill my guts….say what really happened” yeah ok
Anyway, I fell asleep during the show. I’m off for the week for my b-day and the Bruno interview was ok and then terrible when, who didn’t see this coming, Sal and Richard showed up and pulled out their peens. Even easier to predict was that Sal and Richard would go overboard due to the fact they have ZERO talent.
Someone needs to tie BG up with some rope like they did to King Kong and take him to a real rehab .
@alpharaider – congrats on your son’s time clean.
wow. just heard on the replay – BG said he wasn’t sure how long the prescription stayed in his system. that’s an odd thing to say about lexapro, huh?
OFF THE WAGON.
DBBJ,
When’s your birthday? I’d hate to know I share my date of birth with my arch nemesis.
You people all have to relax. I thought the Bruno interview was pretty good. I also found it ironic that Sacha Baren Cohen (or whatever the fuck) makes his living by being outrageous and fucking with people. Then Sal and Rich do the same to him and he gets all freaked out.
Watching Eastbound and Down and Kenny Powers just used the phrase “Trying to keep mah fuck on…” Now that’s funny.
I think Sacha Baron Cohen is a genius, and you either get it or you don’t. I thought the Ali G Show on HBO was fuckin great. Loved Borat, Bruno a bit less. I could understand people totally getting offended by his delivery, in your face and very method type of a deal, and he can be very crass.
As for Artie, heard the replay, and once again it’s a big cut and run, admit nothing, chuckle, everybody was cool, chuckle, my poor mother, yeah we heard it all before and honestly, does the truth even matter anymore? Only to one guy – and he ain’t coppin’ to it, nor seems to care.
Agree with early posts, for first day back, show sucked ass…
Waaah. I’m a fat f*ck with no self control. I overeat, oversmoke, overdrink, and overdose.
Oh yeah, I also can’t control my gambling.
Artie fell off for me. No more Artie love for me. I welcome Jackie back or whoever they decide to replace Artie. Like someone stated, Howard has gotten lazy and just does not want to deal with the black cloud in the room. Heck, I would rather have Scott the Engineer than this disgrace sitting in the room. Artie has had way too many chances. Another example of the rich receiving special preference when it comes to the law. Us schmucks get the hammer thrown at us, while self-induling jackholes like Artie continue to roll along like a greasy meatball.
Thanks Elvis but the congrats go to my kid. He’s the one doing the hard stuff. I’m lucky he’s vertical and ventilating after all the crap he’s done! I’m no fool, though-he could have a bad day and it could all go sideways.
The difference between Artie and guys like my son is that Artie pays people to babysit him to keep him clean. My boy and lots of other addicts just realize their lives have turned to shit and go get help and rebuild their lives from scratch. Artie has scratch and might need to lose everything.
Truth is, none of us really knows what a day in the life of Artie Lange is. Where is Martin Basheer when we need an in-depth documentary
. ?
Good Luck Artie,
Ive been there just as many times as you,
Stay strong brother.
I hope everyone here (other than Jackie) loves Artie. At least some of the time.
Howard’s stressed out today .. “everything makes me mental” he just said at 6:07 eastern
Jackie’s killin’ – back him back!
Thank You, Can I taste your juice? I’m glad you enjoyed me and my jokes,
Send me money. Heeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee haha