FYI – The author of the article informed me that the “update” at the end was from a month ago. So fairly recent.
Artie Lange made a career of transforming his personal demons into comedy, but can he do the same with his January 2010 suicide attempt? Our extraordinary interview with the Howard Stern sidekick suggests there’s hope.
Artie Lange has worn several hats during his 17-year career—stand-up comic, actor, author—but he made his biggest mark as radio pioneer Howard Stern’s debauched and foul-mouthed sidekick and, on occasion, whipping boy. On Stern’s show, Lange frequently rambled about his various vices and demons: prostitutes, gambling, heroin, cocaine, punishingly low self esteem, and his struggle to stay sober. Sometimes his fellow Stern-menagerie members decided to eat their own kind, making Lange the target of pitiless insults and commentary, especially on mornings when, say, he fell asleep at the microphone on the heels of whatever he did the night before.
Part of the fun of listening to it all was that it revitalized the tired comedy cliché—it’s funny because it’s true. Artie’s tales of debauchery were true, listeners knew, and all the more funny—and, let’s face it, titillating—for it.
But the comedy came grinding to a terrifying and grisly halt on the night of January 2, 2010, when Lange’s mother entered her son’s Hoboken, New Jersey, condo carrying a bag of groceries, including Lange’s favorite dish—chicken Parmesan—and found Lange on the kitchen floor bleeding from multiple stab wounds to his abdomen. He was rushed to the Jersey City Medical Center, where doctors found nine wounds to the comic’s torso—all of them self-inflicted with a 13-inch kitchen knife.
Lange’s doctors cleaned up the wounds and operated, and he was released ten days later, but he kept a low profile after the incident. Although Sirius XM Radio, which hosts the Stern show, says he is welcome back to the program any time, it’s hard to predict how Lange will handle his comeback. He has always succeeded in turning his self-destructive low points into comedic bits, but this one, obviously, belongs in a different category.
We visited with Lange months before his suicide attempt, when things were looking up for him. He had been clean for a while, and appeared to have a healthy perspective on—if not total mastery over—the various pitfalls of his multiple addictions.
He told us that he’d kicked heroin and had been clean for months, though he’d gotten hooked on a drug called Subutex to
keep him off the junk. He had just finished shooting a pilot for an Artie Lange reality show on A&E, and was working on a sequel to his best-selling book, Too Fat to Fish.
We spent a whirlwind week with him, visiting his Hoboken condo, riding with him and his entourage to a stand-up gig in Niagara Falls, and cruising down to the Jersey shore. It was not a visit we’d have soon forgotten, in any case, but after his suicide attempt, some of his comments took on an astounding resonance. He discussed, in sober terms, the gloomy fates of fellow “fat-man” comedians John Belushi and Chris Farley. He talked about avoiding the triggers for his addictions, previous rumors of his death, and, incredibly, his concern that a reality show based on his life might be “boring.”
“Welcome to my gindaloon-fuck-you house!” Lange announced by way of greeting when we entered the beach condo. “It’s the guinea dream! I feel like Rodney Dangerfield saying that. I bought it in 2007—it took two years too long, but my mother is proud, and I am happy. Fuck you, I didn’t go to college, and look at this place.”
Lange delivered his wisecracks while giving us the grand tour of the seven-bedroom, six-bath bachelor pad. The house also contains a media room and an elevator he installed for his mother. It is spotless, mostly white, with carefully color-coordinated accessories—from the white leather couches to the frilly cloth napkins to matching towels in every bathroom.
This place looks like a Martha Stewart catalog.
It’s known as the man-cave, but my mom did the whole place; it kind of looks like a gay guy’s place, it’s so neat. All I asked is that she keep it under $5 million—God, I sound like an asshole!
Well, there’s nothing “manly” about it. Your mom may have gone overboard.
No! There are kegs on the deck, a boat pier with four boat lifts and room for Jet Skis, and a heated pool. Come see the bedroom that she did for me—even though you’ll probably get the sense that my mother is too involved in my life. The remote-control blinds up there cost me $18,000. I guess they’re worth it.
Do you feel like you’ve made it at this point in your career?
I never feel that way. In the beginning all I wanted was to make $70k working on the docks [Lange was a longshoreman before entering show business]. The truth is, if I retired I would be fine, but I wouldn’t have much to do. I always want more. I can’t help it; it’s like a drug.
So money is another one of your vices?
It’s true. “One day at a time” is what I have been told to say to myself. The thing is, there are friends of mine who I prefer to be sober with, because I want to listen and bond—it’s fun. If I was always with those people, I could be sober, no problem. I have nothing to be passionate about.
Nothing? There must be something.
Work. I have nothing else to be excited about. It sucks.
You’re not ready to start dating?
I see this one girl from time to time, but there are always issues, it seems. The broad I see now, she’s 25, works in pharmaceuticals. I met her at the Funny Bone, after a gig I did in Pittsburgh. I’ll have to see what happens with her—she’s “the Neil Young chick” when Howard talks about her on-air, because I mentioned that the first time I went over to her apartment, she had a Neil Young poster, and that’s as far as she will let me go, describing her. It’s rather pathetic. I don’t even know the name of the company where she works. It’s a humiliating job, being a comedian.
How so?
It can really get you down. The best thing one comedian can see is another comedian bombing—we relish it. But still, I never rooted for a friend to fail. One of the best stories I have is from the Comedy Cellar in ’94. There were people yelling over setups, and Dave Attell just barreled through—he was completely fearless. Norm MacDonald is like that, too. The definition of a hack is a comedian giving the audience what they want. When Attell realized that he was making me laugh in the back every couple of minutes, he kept at it, regardless of the audience: “David, why do you do comedy—the fame, the pussy? No, I need to find my daughter.” Then he shouts, “Nadine?!” Another dead end. The crowd was ready to throw a beer at him. And he wouldn’t stop. “Nadine?!” I was dying in the back. But, you know, with my luck, I can make money, while these guys have to hustle. It’s part of the business.
I know you love being on The Howard Stern Show, but is there anything that frustrates you about it?
The show changed my life. Really, I have no complaints. All the rumors about me leaving, dying, I can’t let it affect me. I guess the one thing is Howard’s [lack of] sports knowledge. When I start talking about baseball, basketball, any sport—he has no idea what I’m talking about, and neither does Robin [Quivers]. But a lot of the fans know, so he lets me do it. I can’t believe the way the Stern show gets you this rock-star image. It’s an extraordinary relationship that you have with the fans. I never experienced it before the show. In the past, a few people might have known my movie work, or MADtv. But now, because of the Stern show, in every city I go to while touring, I feel like I’ve got a place to crash.
Are you close with everyone on the show?
Definitely; it’s like family. And this summer I will use the beach house to entertain everyone from the show, along with my close friends—all the guys I grew up with in Jersey. It’s going to be more low-key.
Do you mind being the butt of so many jokes?
People relate to someone who screws up, and they admire you if you are honest about it. It’s one area where I am confident. I still feel like a regular schmo. Rather than being phony about it, I go with it. I guess I was at the right place, at the right time. Getting on The Howard Stern Show is the greatest thing that happened to me. I am sitting in a $2 million shore house, with a hot reporter chick interviewing me—I am lucky. This summer will be a turning point for me: I’ll be in shape, maybe I’ll even get laid.
Tell me about your upcoming reality show.
I received money up front just to shoot the pilot—$50k—but it’s depressing me. With stand-up I can perfect my act, but in the “reality” format I get self-conscious sometimes, and I get frustrated and depressed. Reality-TV producers like train wrecks, but I think it will be more of a bore. I am not going to purposely fuck up for them.
When was your addiction most severe?
In 2005, during [the shooting of the 2006 comedy] Beer League, I got to a point where I had numbers in every city for guys that could get me heroin. There was a guy in Boston, let’s call him Joey—shady guy; he was one of them. Colin Quinn was onstage once, and Joey was in the audience. That night, four big goons out of nowhere beat Joey up and everyone in the crowd was freaking out. Quinn played it off: “That’s my closing joke, guys, thanks.” Joey was a bad gambler, he owed a bookie $150,000. I haven’t seen Joey since 2005. I hope he’s alive.
Do you still have all those numbers?
I purposely got rid of most of them, and I changed my number. I remember visiting John Belushi’s grave on Martha’s Vineyard, and it was trashed—people left bags of blow and cans of beer. It’s rumored that they removed John’s actual body [to protect it]. The chaos that drugs cause is not romantic or glamorous—it’s assholes creating would-be grave diggers. Belushi and Farley died from coke and heroin—it’s just so pathetic. Thinking about this, I am so appalled by my old lifestyle.
How do you avoid your triggers to prevent a relapse?
Grown men come to my shows with my book—it’s like what an eight-year-old kid does with Miley Cyrus. Construction workers with dust on their asses. It’s eerie, but it blows me away. I’ve got a solid structure and the best people around me for the first time in my life—my blue-collar extended family. It’s redeeming. It helps me get up in the morning, knowing how dedicated the fans are. I get a good feeling when I meet fans who quote me. It’s rather touching. You don’t get that even if you are a movie star.
UPDATE
Lange has been laying low since the suicide attempt, spending time at home with his mother, Judy, and his sister, Stacey, who reports that Artie is “still in bed, and not speaking more than five words a day.” Artie’s sister canceled his comedy shows in Las Vegas and at Foxwoods, as well as a few club dates in New York that were scheduled for June and July.
Lange, who had a book deal and a reality show in the offing (they’ve been postponed), told our reporter, “I like to think people like me because I’m funny and talented, but it goes beyond that because I have done a lot of fucking-up in my life. I am not trying to lie about my past to get a Miller Lite commercial and be part of that whole hypocrisy.”
In addition to relying on support from his mother and his sister, Artie reached out to Stern, telling Howard then that he had been sober for 54 days. Stern reported on his show that Artie sounded like “up Artie” (Lange has had symptoms of manic depression), and says he has no plans to replace Lange.
Uhh…we’re supposed to feel sorry for him? Why?
…still wondering why you come here miter.
AF – I have no beef with this site at all. You’re a huge Artie fan, as are many folks on here. I do not hate Artie.
I just look at Artie Lange from a different perspective. A lot of people here chime in with comments like Artie being the greatest thing to ever happen to the Stern show. IF I don’t agree with that, does that make me a hater?
I’m more of a realist. Artie is funny, but he’s is a drug addict. That we can all agree on. The fact that he gives money to wackpackers or offer you Yankee tix does not make me forget the shit he has put his family through (also fans) repeatedly, and I don’t give him a pass for being an irresponsible member of society. I’m not sorry about that; that is the way I see it.
I’d like to see Artie get better and get back on track. Really, but if it doesn’t happen, life will go on. Finally, I just really find this whole story pretty interesting.
I had a longer response but erased it… lets just say, I can see your point of view and in some ways you are right but I think you are missing out on other details. There is a reason why so many people are bummed out majority about his situation. If he was really that much of an asshole, I think we’d hear more people that would say more derogatory things but you don’t cuz he’s touched many people.
My heart is broken. Speaking about five words a day??
get well brother we miss you.
On a more positive note, I did meet Artie twice, and both times I can say honestly, he was a nice guy, shook my hand like he knew me.
But when I read about the immense success he has managed to attain, and yet now he’s on the brink of pissing it all away, I have to state honestly, it bothers me.
Not only as a hard working, scraping-for-everything-I’ve-got type of person (but that is a VALID reason), but because it (his downfall) all seems so senseless.
5 words a day? Do you think he suffered brain damage as a result of the blood loss?
Seriously Miter… why DO you come here?? You bash every entry here and have no gripes about posting your negative opinions. Didn’t your mom teach you the good ol’ saying… “if you have nothing nice to say keep your f’n mouth shut?”
I think Miter’s whole thing is that it’s ashamed to see someone really hit the lotto in life like Artie has, and then kinda self-destruct. Yeah he busted his ass and paid his dues for years before ever getting on the HSS or even MadTv. But lots of people bust ass and pay dues and still don’t catch many breaks. Not just in show-biz, but any walk of life.
I mean look at this Lindsey Lohan. Her parents brought her to an audition for a Disney movie when she was a kid. Ever since then she’s had the world by the balls, but continues to act like a spoiled brat. I bring her up cause I just saw where she missed another court date b/c “her passport got stolen” while she was in France. And now she’s got a warrant out for her arrest. It’s like the world is trying to give her this easy life and she constantly just wants to make it hard.
Anyway…all that said (and Lindsey Lohan tangent aside) I’m a huge Artie fan and do feel bad for him in a way. Wish he could get over his mental illness or his dad dying or whatever is causing the heavy drug use and suicide attempts. And I do think we’ll see Artie back in his old chair. Maybe not this year, but I’d bet Howard’s ego won’t allow him to call it quits in a matter of months. He needs to be relevant. Especially after getting all that attention during his euphoric Hollywood weekend.
Matt, I hate to say this, but I am getting sick and tired of coming back to this site as well as sfn and constantly see all this hate. Not just with Artie but with Howard and everyone else related to the HHS. I am amazed that some of you people take the time and relentlessly come back to these sites and ramble on with all of your hatred for these people (Artie and the rest of the HHS staff). Why even listen much less take your valuable time and log on to a web site and actually sign up and start telling people how much this show sucks and the people on the show are pathetic assholes….. I’m really confused… have you nothing better to do with your time? Do you work?
That said, I am just about fed up and am seriously considering not even coming around here any longer……. just sayin
does anyone think the part about sirius/xm saying artie is welcome back anytime is true? does anyone have inside info?
Thanks Willie C … I know. While Free Speech is one thing, there really is no point in people coming here and “telling it like it is”…. When this first happened, I did filter a lot of it out. Most people stopped coming. People like miter, have been coming for awhile and i put up with it.
But i dont see any point on dealing with it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE YOUR POINT BY NOW. I CANT IMAGINE THERE ARE THINGS YOU HAVENT SAID YET. WITH THAT BEING SAID, THERE IS NO PLACE FOR NEGATIVE COMMENTS AGAINST ARTIE. HE IS STILL TRYING TO GET BETTER AND REAL FANS AND HIS FRIENDS DONT NEED TO SEE THE HATE.
All great points from you all, but man, it just goes to show you that we all, as fans of the HSS, really do feel like we know these people, and yeah, that does sound odd, but we listen to all their issues and problems and ups and downs for years, one does indeed feel some weird kind of ‘family’ thing…that said, of course we don’t REALLY know any of them but we’ve had a cool window into their lives that we all love….and yeah, we all feel bad for Artie, I think because we see a talented guy with some deep problems but with a good heart who needs help and happiness more than even he might understand…..and I can never understand when Howard talks about the SFN, and how it’s filled with hate and unhappiness towards the shows and it’s players, if you hate something THAT much, why the heck do you even want to listen? I mean, why bother?
THE LAST HURRAH
I can agree to disagree with AF and others here, but I guess the reverse is NOT true.
I think Derek made a good point about the crux of the matter for me: how a guy like many of us could work his way onto the best radio show ever (our favorite show) and then just fuck it all up (or has he?). 20 years ago, I would have killed just to be on the air for ONE day! Artie landed the dream gig, and well…you know. It is frustrating especially for anyone who has to get up at 5 or 6 am every day to come home by 7pm if we’re lucky, to grind out a somewhat relatively comfortable existence.
Before you think I’m a disgruntled dish washer, I’m not. I have a pretty good career that I like, but it’s work, hard work, and I earn every penny. You might say I’m jealous of Artie, but I’m not. We have much in common; he’s only a couple years older, I grew up in Jersey as a huge Yankee fan and a huge fan of comedy. So I do identify with Artie’s “local boy makes good” story. What I don’t agree with is the public persona of great guy Artie, versus the SOB he had become and what he has put his family through. Any of my business? NO. But you wanted to know what my problem with Artie is – there it is. He’s not as honest or real as he ever stated.
As for the comments, WHY DO YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME HERE, we’ll of course I’m a fan of the Stern show first, but also as a commuter with a Blackberry, I have lots of time to check out SBG daily; it’s convenient and easy. I probably hit SBG 95% of the time from my BB. So that’s that.
So that’s it. Youse (sic) don’t want me here, so no reason to stick around. Sure, I’ll take a peek from time to time, but since good old fashioned honest debate is clearly not what this site is about, well then you guys win and you’re right – what is the point? Best of luck to Artie, and to all of you as well. PEACE OUT.
Sorry, Miter – but like you said – “good old fashioned honest debate is clearly not what this site is about”.
I guess it would be more tolerable if it weren’t nearly 6 months later and people weren’t throwing out the same criticisms… it just gets old.
Remember, I tried to create the other Stern blog so people can say whatever the hell they want.
Miter. You my friend have some issues that YOU need to deal with. ITS A SHOW…… Thats it.. Its a show. Entertainment. However, Artie is a real person with some VERY real issues. That said, this is NOT the time to tear him down piece by piece. This is a “FAN” site. Where people who seem to care and like the SHOW and the people in it. NOT a place to rip the show members to shreds, especially when they are having life threating issues…. I’m done with this.
Thanks for posting the transcript Matt. It’s bittersweet of an interview.
Miter we all have complaints and issues with people and things on the show. It’s a whole other thing to harp on it.
I came to see if there was any news on Artie’s progress and should have know that some idiot would be bashing him. Mental health issues are very real and I have dealt with suicide in my own family, it is nothing to joke about.
I wish Artie all the best and hope that he will continue to heal both physically and mentally.
I SAY THE MOST HONEST AND ORIGINAL COMIC ON THE PLANET LIVES<<<<>> DARK BUT TRUE <<<<<<<<DONT RELISH THE PAST <<<<GET READY FOR THE RETURN<<<<<<<<the return is coming…………THE RETURN OF ARTIE LANGE!!!!!!!!
ARE YOU FUCKIN UN FUNNY BLOGGIN MOTHERFUCKERS READY????????HE IS ALIVE !!!!i am no mary magdalin but get ready JIGGA
I just want to wish Artie all the best. Just reading that he only says 5 words a day is heart breaking. Anyone who has something bad to say about him is totally ignorant to the facts of depression. All the money in the world doesn’t help or make you feel better if you suffer from depression. So saying how he has fame and money and he pissed it away is totally WRONG!!!! He has an illness! Dont you think he wants to be happy and have a good life? Can you even imagine how he feels? why don’t all you big mouths out there shut up and use your brains for once instead of running your mouths and saying hurtful things.
Just last week, Jeff the Drunk called in crying, and listening to Fred and Howards bad impression of Jeff, had me pissed. Artie would of torn Jeff a new ass. Miss that Fat Fuck….Get better Art….
Any new news??
God it makes me sad to read that
Now I try to think what anybody could do for Artie, who has given each and every one of us, a thousand laughs. In the end, I think that somehow, we have to find a way to make HIM laugh.
the 5 words a day thing is typical of someone going through a deep depression. especially one coupled with coming off a drug detox.
when youre feeling healthy and good usually u like to talk about all the things ur up to, the things youre interested in. and often when a person is high, obviously they are euphoric and uninhibited and often will go on for hours about anything, unless theyre nodding.
when youre in a deep depression, you often lose interest in everything. things you used to be passionate about seem pointless. coupled with detoxing its brutal. in this situation they feel like theres really nothing to say. theyre not interested in conversation or interaction. i know people in situations like this who only leave their bedroom once a day to eat for years, and refuse phone calls, visits, any social situation whatsover, etc.
most people know this stuff but i thought id throw it out there in case anyone doesnt understand why artie might not be speaking.
I miss Artie.
God do I miss Art. The show is still good without him, but it was amazing with Art in that it controlled how much Robin talked. She won’t shut up and Art would be having a field day with all this “real” food bs and out of control liberalism. Miss you tons, Artie. Miss you tons.
Let’s hope Artie’s seclusion will lead him away from show biz because that’s what is killing him. He should go back to being alongshoreman and live peacefully. No amount of money is worth that pain. The best revenge is living well, Artie. Live well Artie. Live well.
5 words: I miss the vending machines
I have to agree with Dave. Artie moved back to New Jersey because he hated the LA lifestyle. A bunch of people that can never be nearly as talented as Artie, hang around celebrities and leech off of them. That’s Hollywood. That’s show business. They want to ride on your success and they’ll feed him anything to keep him happy, even if it met drugs and hookers. Money and fame attracts these slimballs.
Artie said he has enough money to retire and I think he should. He’s seems like a really nice guy that can’t say no and that’s what people in the business take advantage of.
Dump the 25 year old, Artie. I, being around her age, can tell you, girls that young can’t handle that type of baggage you have. Best of luck. We love you.
I feel horrible for Artie. 5 words a day. He must be so upset about everything..his almost dying, his mom being the one to find him his being away from the show and the whole world knowing how he tried to hurt himself, and probably in a cycle of being depressed because he cant be happy about all he has and he cant be happy about all he has BECAUSE he is depressed. I agree that the whole Jeff trailer thing would have been HYSTERICAL if Artie was there. Same with the whole Guatemala thing and Robin and her 15 foundation. Hed have gone to town with that stuff. I just hope he gets better.
as a 40 year old woman, I can appreciate the young guys I see and their hard bodies and probably rock hard cocks and i know they’d be great in bed, but other than that what allure does a 25 year old hold for me? We like different music, different entertainment, watch different shows. I made a reference to the Monkees show to a young guy and he looked at me like I had 3 heads. I understand Artie gets hot for these young broads but if he really wants a wife and a family and a ‘nice’ girl hes gotta start looking at girls 33 and older at LEAST! I may be 40 but I can still have kids and Im pretty fine I think..so look around Artie…lots of single established ADULT women are looking for an amazing guy to complete our lives. You would fit the bill nicely!
Artie needs to get over himself already. He has tons of help offered to him and he chooses to self destruct.
I think Artie is a good guy deep down, but he chose the money and the rock star lifestyle – key word – CHOSE
I agree, he needs to retire, lay low and find a nice chubby jersey Italian girl to take care of him.
This website was better before the host turned into an annoying, ass kissing star fucker and became “close with the family”. Why have a site and then monitor and censor what people say? This use to be a fun place to go and read everyone’s views but because of the host of the site every comment is one ass kissing comment after the other. Fuck it and fuck this place
Matt –
Thanks for posting the site and putting up with all of us. After all this time, I realize those who love Art and those who hate him share a common bond: We all miss him – even those who hate him so much that they look to you for updates
Let’s all agree that we’re all locked inside our own minds, and there’s no escape. As much for Howard as for Art.
You’re a good man, Matt. I think Art knows it.
Of course Matt’s a good guy towards artie…Artie gives him money and yankee tickets. The dude sold out
Um, okay. I run a fan site for Artie and some how I sold out to be nice to him?
I don’t dance…. You are a jackass…. and know not of what you’re talking about. If you don’t know absolute facts then shut your hole. I know for a FACT that in the recent past it was the other way around for Artie and Matt…. so please keep your negative inaccurate comments to yourself. You haters really make me sick…….
Artie..no pressure here. Please get well soon. The show is awful without you. Take care. People do miss you. Someone needs to be calling Howard out on all of his American Idol, dancing w/the Stars BS.
don’t even listen to the show anymore. i’m up 13 bucks a month now. thnks artie.
Does anyone know where I can get that poster he’s holding? Get well Artie
Who cares about Artie? Gary Coleman is dead! I always thought he would die from SHORTNESS of breath.
woooo heeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeee haha
Im ready Howie! the show is worse than ever! Bring me back!
haaaaaaaaaahaaaaaa hehe
get well, arte…the HSS sucks without you, it needs your comedy backbone (heh, i said “bone”)
Artie, you are one of the funniest mother fuckers around, I hope you get better soon. I missing hearing you on Howard Stern show. I cant stand people who bash you or anyone with a medical condition. I only hope the best for you and hope to hear you again on Howad or even to see one of your showes. Oh, watching you on Beer League no on comcast on demand Thank you for makeing me laugh every morning.
dave on 5/25 hit the nail on the head. The last thing an addict or depressed person wants to hear is how talented, funny, blah blah they are. Live small Artie!
Been away for awhile-I Don’t Dance, fuck you. Matt is respecting Art’s family. As I said months ago, his site, his rules. Shut your cock holster.
Artie didn’t give Matt money and offered him tickets. Again, fuck you and everybody that looks like you. Go cry in your pillow, pussy. Here’s an idea genius, start your own site and see how much fun it is to moderate the bullshit people spew out of their computers-me included.
Sorry Matt-that one really pissed me off…..and I’m back.
Thanks Alpha … but its not completely accurate. Artie did give me those things but they were earned. Yankees tickets were for a favor I did for him, and money was for the video he used to open his show. I didn’t ask for either, he was being generous.
I’m a big AL fan but you will never hear him again with Howard. There is no way he’d be able to stand people goofing on him because of this..and you know they would. Every time Artie’d have someone on the ropes the’d come back with a comment about his attempt and it would cut him badly.I just can’t see him having the internal strength to handle that day in and out. He’s a great guy but even his weight issues bothered him greatly. Could you imagine the crap he’d have to take from Eric the Worthless Shitcock? This is JMO. I wish him well!
AF-you are a man of integrity and I have huge respect for that. Thanks for correcting me and I own my mistake. I was on a rampage! Don’t be messin’ with my AF!!!
Yeah, so suck my dick alpha… I was right and suprise, suprise…you were wrong.
Sometimes the worst thing in the world is to have all of your dreams come true. You are still the same person, minus the hope, passion and something to get out of bed for.
Claire, I love what you said, did you see that somewhere or did you make it up? I’d like to use it sometime, perhaps.
Thanks.
Man, this site is so sappy and gay now
I Don’t Dance:
Agreed, I used to visit this website everyday, now I visit once a month. Part of this is surely because Artie isn’t on the show, but the other part is because there is no good information on here – Matt has censored this website (which is his right to do). I wish things like “Artie sightings” (perhaps?) can be post here, etc. Real Artie news….
But Matt has chosen to protect Artie and his family (again, his website so he can do what he wants), but I suspect readership is way, way, way down.
There’s no updates because there is no news. Didn’t you read the article? He doesn’t get out of bed and doesn’t say no more than 5 words…thus no sightings and no appearances. What do you want Matt to do, make things up?
I miss artie I hope you are doing well and will be back on the Stern show soon I miss hearing you on there..get well soon
There is no Artie sightings… I heard of one through Twitter about a month ago but there was no way to verify it… If it is news, I will post it. If TMZ were to post a picture of him at a baseball game, Ill post it.
There just isnt any news.
As for visitors, im still getting the same thousands of visitors everyday… there was always a small number of comments posted. And these days, yes, I do delete the nasty ones.
GREAT to hear Artie on the Replays today !! Hearing him do Jeff with Jeff on the line KILLS ME every time !! Soooo funny….hope you’re well, bro’ !!
Then delete the comments by claire and emily cullen bc that’s the gayest bullshit i’ve ever read in my entire life
Listening to replays really makes me miss the big lug. Miss you, Artie! Continue to recover and get stronger.
He is certainly missed, but he should not return to any type of media until he is in shape both mentally and physically to meet the demand.
It will be interesting to see what Howard does with his contract and if Artie follows.
kkoxford – I’ve been late to work a few of times on the account of Artie do Jeff. It was well worth it!
Thanks for posting this, Matt.
Where can I get that poster?
Artiefan..look guys n’ gals..just blew into Riyadh for a one year medical employment contract with Filipina-Amercan wifey nurse..listening on internet. Here’s Artie’s deal plain and simple.
You would THINK that with season tickets,a huge pass to return and the book and tv deal pending..this mutha fugga would jump outta bed and run back into life. But unfortunately the chemical abscence of serotonin,which is the blood life of ‘feeling good enuff to give a damn if Jeter goes 3 for 4 or my pharmaceutical girlfriend looks smokin’ in dat teddy’ MUST BE PRESENT IN AT LEAST BASELINE DOSES for Artie to even have those thoughts!!
So everyone just get it. As long as Artie is organically robbed of serotonin,which by the way is what is robbed temporarily when one takes Ectasy…he will sit there in bed and stare for days at the elm tree swaying in the wind without a pleasant thought in his addled brain.
Get well Artie
is howard still paying him i wonder?
I think Artie was on year to year contract that expired the end of December. So, I wouldn’t think Howard is still paying him.
Personally I think this site is great. I tried SFN, but it’s such a hateful, mean, and vicious place these days. After ten minutes there I start to wonder if I hate the show too. Also it’s nice not to see the word “Faggot” in almost every post. Don’t get me wrong, there are some REALLY funny ppl posting there, but it’s a brutal planet, feels like Thunderdome for Stern fans. I’d rather read more supportive Stern posts, I guess I am a “fag” after all.
Here is another reason SFN is too weird for me, just went there and there is a whole thread dedicated to “…Why Jay Leno is cooler than Howard Stern…” WTF?!? I can understand having a problem with THSS lately, but now they are all whining about How much cooler JAY is??? Why don’t they all go to the Tonight Show site on NBC.com? I’m sure those message boards are a fucking riot! Traitors!! XP
If Artie may never return to HSS we were blessed with his genius and just thinking of his ‘bits’ will always put a smile on my face. Find your peace my friend, FIRRRREEEEE
Look, I love Artie but can we please cut this sappy fucking homo bullshit? This site has gotten bad enoughg with Matt’s new censorship but can we please refrain from these fucking gay, super sensitive get well wishes? Even Artie would prob goof on how sappy they are getting… Just because Matt censorses every little thing (to protect his money and yankee ticket hook up) doesn’t mean you fags have to recite passages from a potery novels.
Artie, I Love You Kid! Get well! Miss you Bro!
This isnt anything new… ITS 6 months old…
Plus, my so-called hookup was a one time thing… im not protecting anything.
Is “censorses” a new word I wasn’t aware of??