Breaking News: After only 6 months, Adrienne has a key to Artie’s apartment and has already moved in some of things.

more to come.

Every time the show goes on vacation, something happens to Artie. And this past vacation was no different. Artie and his beautiful girlfriend, Adrienne, went on a hayride last week and picked apples and pumpkins. Awww, how sweet. The following day, Adrienne took him to see the documentary, The September Issue.

Speaking of the film, Artie said, “I couldnt follow anything. I thought Couture was the name of a person.”

Artie shared a story on the air that his girlfriend, Adrienne, was telling him how beautiful Beth was and couldn’t believe Howard had banged Anna Nicole Smith. She thought Howard was slumming to be with her.

Besides her confusing Howard Stern with Howard K. Stern, Artie said things are “cool” with the girlfriend.

Artie opened up about his new girlfriend this morning. Her name is Adrienne (as I previously announced here), 25 years old, fellow New Jerseian and surprisingly Dutch, not Italian. They are officially going out and they have already expressed love for each other.

The Beginning

He met her back in May. While walking to his gym, he saw her working at the tanning place next door. Not knowing how to approach her, he noticed a sign in the window advertising straight shaves. He decided to go inside and use his inquiry of the shave to talk to her. As luck with have it, the guy was not in and Adrianne asked for Artie’s name and number (not knowing who he is) and said she would call him back when she finds out the schedule. That segwayed into some small talk and baseball. Adrienne mentioned she hasn’t been to the new Yankee Stadium and Artie told her to give him a call if she wants to go.

First Date

Adrienne did call Artie about the game but she was unable to make the one he had in mind. On the night of the SNL finale, Using Craig Gass’s cellphone, Artie called her and asked her if she would like to go to the after party. Artie talked about this story on the air on 5/19/09. By this time, Adrianne had learned who Artie was from her coworker. Artie sent a town car for her to drive her from Jersey into the city. They didn’t get back to his place till 5am and they talked till 10am. Artie said he did try/want to sleep with her but she was putting the brakes on.

No Secret

Adrienne has already met Artie’s mother and sister, as well as, Robin. All three ladies are very fond of her. Robin said of her, “There is a vast difference between this girl and the other girls Artie has seen.” Artie said that he has already talked to her father over the phone. He is a doctor. Fred joked about Artie only using her to get to his prescription pad. Artie said that Fred thinks the same way Helicopter Mike does. He hasn’t talked to the mother yet.

Drugs

Artie candidly said that she was born the year he had his first DUI. How romantic! He has told her about his drug history and warned her if he ever fell off the wagon to get the fuck away from him. He even told her what most doctors would say to wait a full year clean before starting a relationship. She is anti-drugs.

What about Dana?

Dana knows about Adrienne too. In fact, Dana is seeing somebody at the moment as well. Artie still has extreme sadness about how things ended with Dana and that he would still take a bullet for her. He hopes she is always in his life at some capacity. Adrianne can relate, as she still talks to an Ex on the west coast. Howard told Artie he wouldn’t want this girl still talking to a guy she still has feelings for. Artie said there is an entire chapter in the next book devoted to Dana. So far it is like a 10 page apology along with a new revelation.

Arthur Lange the Poet

Artie recited a short poem that will be included in the Dana chapter. He admitted this isn’t the first poem he has written for a girl. He and Dana have exchanged poems in the past. He already written one for Adrianne. There had been another girl years ago he had also written for.

Star Crossed Lovers

Artie said his mother and sister are big into horoscopes, although he is not. Coincidently, the day Artie and Adrienne first met, Artie read his horoscope 20 minutes before. It read that love was on the horizon. Despite them using the word love for each other, Artie said they are “taking it slow.” He sounds extremely fond of this girl. I wish you the best of luck Artie.

Also… I know a few of us has commented on Artie’s tan. Interestingly, Artie mentioned that the girl wanted him to get a spray tan. I think he denied it but then talked about it as if he knew a little too much about it. Perhaps that’s why he is so dark in that photo above.

Artie’s Dana Poem

Dana you were much too brilliant to be my bride.
I promised you I would be a good man, but baby, I lied,
But like the stone said, Angel, they can’t say we never tried.

Updated: Click here to read the full story Artie shared on the air.

In the past year, Artie has hinted at there being a couple girls that he sees, or talks with… is this the latest one or just a fan? Thanks to Twa Twa Twatter for the find. For larger images, go to the original source.

UPDATE – Someone who saw Artie at a book signing in PA said he announced her to the crowd as his girlfriend. Adrianne is her name?