Artie is not in today

I missed the segment (sleeping, ironic?) but from the messages I got I twitter it seems management stepped in and either ask him to take time off or made him.

Some people think Howard made the call and management delivered the message.

If Howard didn’t make the decision, then why would management finally do something now. After all these years, only now they step in? Perhaps this is actually about Howard. Howard hasn’t spoken too kindly about management lately and contract decisions aren’t going over too well. Another case of radio management trying to tame the talent (howard) ?

UPDATE

After hearing the replay. I think its clear, unless Howard is being untruthful, that it was management’s decision.

Howard said that he didn’t know what was going on. Many people had commented that Artie didn’t look well last week and no one heard from him over the weekend. Between last week and the weekend, management stepped in and told Artie to stay at home and take a break to rest, concentrate on his health. Howard said he thought Artie would be out all week.

Howard really declined to give any solid details and finally resorted to his usual cop-out, “I don’t want to offend Artie” and “I like it when Artie tells the story”.

Howard announced that Artie was not in today. He would not go into any detail saying that Artie was fine, but its his business and “Artie is going to do what Artie is going to do.” Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said Artie was being disrespectful, Howard disagreed. He joked that Artie was running a mission for the CIA.

UPDATED – I thought that maybe his driving class was scheduled today (thinking his first class was in the first week of Dec) but others are reporting his classes aren’t until February.

Looks like Artie wanted to get in at least one extra day off before the year is over.

No voicemail today, only a text.

“Gare, can’t make it in today, sorry.”

We all know to take Artie’s excuse with a grain of salt. He has lied in the past many times and to most fans, his word can’t be trusted. I always try to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know why but maybe its just my compassion towards  him, hoping he is getting his life on track.

It was interesting this morning that Artie mentioned he is being medicated, specifically, Lithium.  A friend of mine is on Lithium and almost every year she goes through some kind of breakdown where she claims the medicine gets messed up. She gets so messed up that she actually gets hospitalized. She is a teacher and, as of right  now, she is missing her second week of classes. She was only hospitalized for almost the first week and at this time she is at home awaiting doctor’s permission to go back to work.

With that perspective, is it really hard to believe that Artie’s story couldn’t be true (if you were to take the whole ‘lying previously’ thing away).

ARTIE  IS BACK!

Artie was back this morning ready to talk about why he hasn’t been on the show in just over a week.

“I had a mini nervous breakdown”, he explained. For the next 45 mins, Artie talked about being bedridden in Jersey.

The Perfect Storm – Why This All Makes Sense

Artie had previously talked about turning 42, the same age his father was when he died, and how emotional that is for him.

• Artie just celebrated his 42nd on Oct. 11 of this year.
• 2 days before his birthday, Artie performed a benefit show for Adam Niskar, a quadriplegic (just like his father), in Detroit.
• 5 days prior Artie had met Reggie Jackson, who is a part of Artie’s most cherished memories of his late father (1977 World Series game).

Artie admitted that in weeks prior to his breakdown, he had stopped going to the shrink, but if you remember, back in September, he talked about increasing the number of days he was going to the shrink. Either he was lying or all that talk made him close the door on the shrink (not wanting to deal with his emotions).

Artie says he isn’t doing drugs. I am not an addict so I do not claim to understand the mind of one but I can imagine that if your body and mind always fell back on drugs to cope with things and you keep those drugs out of your system, you aren’t going to cope very well.

Artie said the turning point was at the Detroit show. When he met Adam, he noticed little ticks that his father had. He realized that he has not been around a quadriplegic since his father and that really affected him. Artie talked about how Adam was completely different than his father. His father gave up on life but Adam is married now and about to have a child.

Despite the positive reaction from the crowd, Artie felt it affected his comedy routine that night and on the plane ride back he really started to feel it. Once he returned to Jersery, he got in bed and couldn’t get out, like he was “paralyzed in bed”. He was shaking and dry heaving. He phoned his shrink and the shrink told him to go to the hospital but Artie did not. Adrienne, Artie’s girlfriend came to his side and nurtured him. He said that he really loves her but he told her that she should probably run for the hills (something he has always joked about). Finally, his shrink prescribed some medication to help Artie get back on his feet.

What Else

Artie also talked about the road conflicting with his day job. He has discussed this many times in the past and again, he says he is choosing the Howard Stern show out of the two. He talked about being addicted to making money. He said that without touring, he couldn’t afford the shore house. Ironically, he said he only went there like 3 times this year (and only used his jet skis twice). He is going to try and stop some of the touring. I don’t know how he is going to do that when he needs to promote his upcoming DVD.

There is no doubt Artie needs years of therapy to resolve some of these issues and learn to cope with them. I only hope that he gets the help he needs.

If there was ever a time to “Save Artie Lange“, that time would be now. We have now entered Week 2 of Artie’s absence.

A text was sent to Gary explaining on what was going. “Artie’s got a lot of drama going on and we’re right in there with him”, said Howard. According to the note, it is not drugs. Neither Howard nor Gary knew if the text was for public display. Howard handed the note over to Robin to review for her opinion on whether or not to read it on air.

Robin reacted with an “Oh wow” upon reading it. The Queen of Mean actually silenced? Must be sensitive material. Howard said that he actually thought that [content of the note] was going on. Robin added, “but that’s what everything is about anyway.” She added, “I thought there was something being given to prevent that.” Then she asked Howard, “Have you ever just wanted to stay home?”

So what does this all mean? Depression? Father Issues? Still Drugs? Rehab? Girlfriend stuff? A-Rod producing in the post-season?

What DO YOU think?

Howard said he kind of didn’t want to know what was going on. He didn’t want to make the phone call because it sounds like a long call. Way to be a “bro” or a friend Howard. Howard finally tired of Artie’s drama or is just the selfish, rich old man he looks like.

Update

Later, a caller said he thought it was clinical depression and immediately Howard and Robin starting saying they didn’t say that. Sounded like he might of hit the nail on the head.

Howard said he didn’t want to read the note because he said it sounds like its a story that Artie should tell.

Fred thought it was a nervous breakdown. Howard let him read Artie’s note and Fred said that confirmed his suspicions.

Granted, one of those days was a holiday.

Artie text’d Gary this morning with the following message:

Gar, did not have relapse, got sick coming back on plane, don’t wanna to get anyone else sick. Need the weekend. See you Monday.

Howard joked that he thought “Gar” meant, Got A Relapse.

Howard announced “It’s day two of Artie’s illness.” George said he thought it was genuine. Howard responded with an “I don’t know.” Robin told George that he hasn’t been through what they have. “We used to believe too,” Robin said. Howard told George, “You are like me five illnesses ago.”

George said he would send Artie a get well card and Robin replied, “And he’ll snort something…”

Sounds like Howard is losing faith in our boy. Of course, Robin has been “right” this whole time [jackie cough].

Update: On the wrap up show, Gary said that Artie txted him this morning and said he still felt sick and hoped he would be in for tomorrow.

Artie called out sick today. You can listen to the message he left on Gary’s voice mail below. (Just after the 1 minute mark)

In Studio Poll

George, Benjy, Ralph and Jon are giving Artie the benefit of the doubt.

Fred and Robin think he isn’t sick and drugs/alcohol is involved.

Howard couldn’t make up his mind but settled on that Artie is using but isn’t convinced.

Thursday’s Show 4/30/09

Artie is out sick again today.

Artie called Ronnie the Limo Driver to convey the call out. Gary thought it was weird that he didn’t call him.

Howard has doubts that Artie is sick. He said that Artie has a show tomorrow night and bets he is there.

Howard was giving Benjy shit still, even though he was on time today. Benjy was comparing himself to Artie and Howard said that its different, he isn’t in Artie’s league. (Kind of unfair to Benjy I feel)

Howard called Artie a “head case” and that he is in “Artie land”. He said that there will be a breaking point some time.

Despite the above comment, Howard did say he loves the guy and prays he is OK. Robin said she didn’t think he was going to a shrink. She doesn’t believe that a shrink would only ask him to come once a week. Howard concurred. With the lazy approach to therapy, that isn’t therapy. Howard and Robin both said there were devasted that he isn’t getting proper treatment.

Fred said that he didn’t think he was doing heroin but probably boozing. He thought that Artie is giving them his version of the truth, but lying.

They started analyzing the different complaints and injuries that Artie complained about. Howard teased that perhaps he is in the CIA and he is on a mission.

They later did a bit where they had Artie calling in using Artie’s pre-recorded voice. 

In other show stuff:

- Hugh Jackman in this morning (not sure what time but it is earlier)

- Iron Sheik was in studio today. He said Artie must be fucked up to missed the show and if he was there he was suplex him and make him humble.