Artie continued to GAIN weight during the weight loss competition costing him $1,000 per teammate. Let me ask you, if you had a choice: Eat Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or pay off thousands of dollars… which would you do?

Benjy Bronk moves on to join Tim’s team in the next phase of the Cylaris weight loss competition.

Not much progress after much of the contestants spent a weekend partying in Lakeland, FL with the Bubba show.

Gangi went food tasting for wedding reception. Tim stuffed his face eating at the buffet at the gig and it shows with his 1 pound weight gain. Artie spent no time think of the competition and upheld the same weight from last week. John went to 3 baseball games and ate 4 hotdogs yet still managed to lose a pound. Brian ate three caesar salads the whole weekend and came away with a 5 pound loss. Benjy is continuing with his pill popping and didn’t lose as much as he did in previous weeks.

And Scott is a fat bastard.

St. Patty’s day came and suprise suprise - WE HAD WEIGHT GAIN rather than WEIGHT LOSS. If there was one thing that would influence me to not overconsume on a holiday, it would be $20K.

After the first week of dieting, here are the numbers:

Benji shocked everyone with his dramatic weight loss of 21 pounds. Scott the Engineer immediately jumped on Benji’s honesty and said he was cheating. Ironically it was Benji who was concerned about people cheating when this whole thing started. He is taking Cylaris, however, I don’t know that we can fully trust Benji to not pull tricks.

How is our Baby Gorilla Artie Lange handling the Weight Competition?

Despite gaining weight, it almost sounded as if Artie was getting into the spirit of the competition on the Wrap Up show. We all know he has no ambition unless there are drugs, gambling or sex involved however Artie is competitive by nature and I thought that was coming through today… until he shouted that ” I want to lose weight when I want to lose weight … not when I affect offer people”. He mentioned today that because he feels so bad for his teammates, he offered them a thousand dollars each if Team Artie loses. Le’s face it, $20,000 is just not enough money these days for Artie.

Artie’s back and now the Cylaris Weight Loss Competition can start. Since the teams were created back on March 1st, we actually lost 2 contestants on Artie’s team already. No they haven’t died, although some would hope so. Cabbie is out of the competition due to sponsor conflicts and Boots was kicked out as well. Today Artie had to select what player he wanted to take from Tim’s team. Apparently nobody wanted be on Artie’s team and we don’t blame him. Did you know that Artie is working the next 4 weekends? I’d bet he will be gaining weight than losing weight. Artie picked John Hein since John doesn’t need the money.

So here is the first weigh in:

The Teams have been selected!!

Team Fatass vs. Team Fat …um, ass.

Team 1: Sabian, Heim, Kaplan, Scott, Faylon

Team 2: Lange (captain), Cabbie, Benjy, Gangi, Boots

I dont know about y’all, but I think Team 1 has it in the bag.