Fill in the blank:

Eric the ___________ midget.

Boys’ blue PJ pants - $10
San Francisco baseball cap - $25
Pug from the local animal shelter - $100
A picture of Eric the Midget waking up in the morning - Priceless

Thanks to Tommy for sending in the picture

Also the rumor is that if you want to get Eric the Midget on AOL, his screen name is Allsports5.

Eric the Midget and Johnny Fratto called in this morning. Eric said two words and hung up.

Eric called back and started bragging about his birthday party at a strip club where Johnny paid 15 “fully naked” girls to hang around him and lap dance him all night. Howard tried to get Eric to admit that he was right about Eric not leaving the show and that he would call in again. Eric wouldn’t admit to it…actually he wouldn’t even admit that he was on the phone LOL. Then he called Steve Langford an “idiotic motherfucker”. When asked about being single Eric said, “I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one”. Eric then signed off with his “bye for good”.

Eric called back a third time. Apparently Johnny convinced Eric to call back and apologize. Eric went back into the boring details about the strip club. Instead of apologizing he became argumentative saying that Howard needed to get his hearing checked. He said he wasn’t back on the show as a regular caller (even though it was 3 times this morning). Howard reminded him that he said he was never calling back ever. Then the crazy bastard said he already apologized, but he hadn’t, and then he did for real.

Eric can’t admit the fact that he needs the show and without it he has no friendship with Johnny or any special treatment from anyone.

Also…

We heard this morning that Henry Hill got kicked out (and banned) out of a restaurant in Connecticut for getting drunk. I wish I had known he was going there, that place is right up the street from my apartment. LOL

I keep waking up halfway through these Eric the Midget bits. Now Eric is admitting to lying… but not what we all thought he was lying about. He claims that yesterday was all a sham and that they were lying about breaking up so the show would get off Kendra’s back. And now that he has a beautiful (whore) girlfriend, he is going to leave the show.

But we have all heard this before. He will be back to a week or two. He thinks the Stern fans will keep giving him attention after he leaves. Everyone really needs to leave him alone so he can see just how much the show does for his lonely ass life.

Eric the Midget on Jimmy Kimmel Live
Thanks to Allison for finding it for me!

I have pictures of Eric the Midget and Kendra’s weekend!!

PICTURES OF ERIC AND KENDRA

I caught it about half way through this morning but apparently Eric and Kendra finally met. She stayed with Eric for 2 days, went to a strip club (Kendra’s idea - surprise), met Jimmy Kimmel and did a photo shoot. But that’s wear the fairy tale ended… Howard asked Eric about the claim that Eric’s friends convinced him to “play the field” and Eric confirmed it.

Kendra then called up during the discussion mad. Eric reiterated to her on the phone that he doesn’t want to be with her. He said he wasn’t sure what happened. Kendra asked if going to the strip club may have opened his eyes to a new world, Eric agreed.

Then Howard brought up that he thought they had prearranged this in order to get out of the whole ploy. Jimmy said there was some porn quality acting going on. “This is not a goof stern!” Eric bit back.

Steve Langford came in and broke a story he has been working on that this is all a scam. Johnny Frado and Patrick (introduced Kendra to Eric) are listed as sources. Steve claims to have text messages that prove his case. Eric says they were “doctored” by Patrick. Howard asked Eric and Kendra to swear on the life of their mother that they were telling the truth and they did.

Howard went back to treating the whole situation like it was real prying Eric for a reason why its over with Kendra. Eric had no reason. Johnny Frado called in and said that he thought the stripper said something dirty to him and got his mind turning. Eric agreed. YACK YACK.

Howard said he didn’t know what to believe and wanted a lie detector on Eric. Steve said that his source Patrick was willing to take a lie detector. Gary chimed in and said that the rumor going around the office was that Johnny was trying to take over the Stern fan crowd from Mutt (SFN) so this whole fraud was created to get more attention.

—————

Part of me thinks this is fake. Either 1) The Stern camp created another masterpiece, 2) Johnny, Eric and Kendra committed fraud against the Show or 3) its real and Kendra is nuts or just lying to Eric to get her website popular.

Steve Langford seems pretty convinced and maybe he is just doing a bit of pit bull news reporting trying to create a story but I just don’t get how Kendra and Eric would have”hooked up” in the first hand. This may have been all concocted to get more attention to Eric and his web cam show. With Steve breaking the story and with them already meeting there wasn’t much further they could go on with anyways. Being that Eric is a horrible ad-liber, Johnny Frado had to call in order to salvage the bad acting on the part of Eric.

On the other hand if it is real, I can understand how they would meet and things would go completely wrong. I myself have met girls on the Internet and after talking with them awhile you think the person is one way and within 5 minutes of meeting them in person its completely fucked. Eric doesn’t want to hurt her feelings so he doesn’t give a reason on the phone.

May I present to you one of the worst (best) remake’s of Wild Thing ever. This is Eric’s love song to his crazy stripper girlfriend. Full Speed Ahead Eric!

Oh well that was an experience…. I was hanging around the JFSC Stickam webcam yesterday. Yes, I was bored but I couldn’t believe the amount of people who were also bored gawking at the girls on cam in there. Somehow Eric got some attractive girls to help out him and his web chat. They didn’t really seem to be leeching on a chance of getting Stern notoriety but you never know.

I went back on later to catch some of his Idol show and holy fuck is that torture. I taped a little of it below… with some added flare.

First we get the Bin Laden tape, then we get the Eric tape!

Eric the Midget threatened a lawsuit and restraining order against the Howard Stern show and its fans if they attempt to contact him. In a message given to Johnny Fraddo, he said he contacted 50 lawyers online that are ready to go if Stern and co continue their connection to Eric.

“Stay out of my life you big nose sack of shit”. Eric also called out to Beth not to marry Howard.

Apparently Eric is stuck in some dreamworld that Diana DeGarmo is gonna hook up with him and he wants to introduce his parents to her. Eric the Dreamer is a funny short bastard. Sorry nature was so cruel to you Eric, but I hope Diana kicks you down a small staircase.

*** Update *** At 7:33am - Eric called in for 20mins to clear up what is going on. Howard tried to tell Eric that Diana is not interested in him. Apparently Eric got pissed when Steve Langford contacted Diana’s mom about Eric calling. She would not comment when Steve asked if she wanted Eric to keep calling. Overall the phone call was pretty calm with no real outbursts from Eric. Howard ended the call saying no hard feelings but Eric said he would not call in again.

***Update, Eric calls back on Wednesday***

Look who is back!? The minute that little midget needs help or something he calls back in.

So after receiving a nasty message from Eric (see yesterday’s post) , i responded by saying:

“Dude, what the hell man? All I did was send you a message. A positive one. Someone actually asking for you? How many times does that happen in your life?

And you respond back with a nasty message.

Well my little friend, you gotta let some shit go in life. If you truly do not want to be associated with the Stern show anymore, you should delete about 99% of your myspace friends. They are only show fans.”

So Eric responded to me back saying:

” I’ll start with you.”

And a chill came over the air… like when he told Johnny Frado “You know what to do, you know what to do”. And then I remembered what he looked like and it was more like that angry dwarf in Bad Santa except pale white and very lame.

Now I can’t right to him back because he blocked me. Eric, I have only just begun with you.