High Pitch Mike was in studio today to announce a revelation. Mike took a lie detector test on the air the other day which concluded he was gay. Mike said he had a meltdown after the show and has been having a rough month or two in his personal life.

Mike asked to play a horrible song in the background for he began his story – “Never felt this way” by Brian MckNight. Back in October, Mike went home to his parents wedding anniversary (where this song was played). Afterwards, he listened to the song and he broke down in his apartment because he felt he would never be able to feel the love conveyed in this song, which was felt by his parents at their party. The song made him feel how alone and empty he is because he has been lying to himself.

So after a whole lame (barely) build up, High Pitch Mike admitted he was gay on the air. Apparently he had come out to Artie beforehand (and other staffers, family and friends). He told Artie in the lobby of the building. Mike said that Artie was very compassionate.

Mike talked about his mother telling him that she would disown him if he was gay. Once he admitted it, he said she was very angry and disappointed but at the end she said that she loved him and wanted him happy.

Artie had a funny joke that went something like: “Today is full of suprises, Mike said he was gay and Langford is going to say the sky is blue.”

Maybe now he can leave Howard 100 and go over to the OutQ channel.

Mike was administered a lie detector test today during the show.

Mike answered no to the following questions:

- Are you a homosexual?
- Have you every received a cock in his ass?
- Are you a virgin?
- Do you hope Artie dies?

He failed the homosexual and virgin question but was truthful with the cock in ass question.

He was being truthful saying yes to hating Artie.

He also passed a question in which he answered that he does not want to see Artie die.

Dr. Keith Ablow was in studio this morning trying to resolve the Artie / High Pitch Mike conflict. Keith tried to focus on changing Mike’s reaction to Artie; probably since everyone knows you aren’t changing Artie. Both guys were slinging mud throughout it. Howard kept trying to end the segment saying he thought things were cleared up a bit but I doubt it.

At the end, a hand shake occurred and Artie said:

“Mike’s verbal bullets are nothing against my armor of self confidence and you should feel the same way about my bullets. And I look forward to a relationship where I horribly, viciously insult you and you don’t say anything.“

After Howard aired the Artie Lange PSAs, Mike came storming in asking for an apology and threatened that he will keep exposing Artie. He called Artie’s new girlfriend a Gold Digger. “Look at him and tell she really think he is good looking and a nice guy“. Mike also told George that he had tapes of what Artie really felt of him.

Gary came in defending Artie and blamed Mike for the charity to refuse the money. Mike insisted on an apology disregarding the PSA for gay people. Gary explained “What Artie did in the PSA is not about you”. Mike responded by saying Gary didn’t understand.

Artie clarified to Mike, “I hate you, I hope you die… Are you a gay guy?” and an awkward silence paused the show.

Howard said he disagreed with Gary and stuck up for Mike. Howard suggested that both of the agree to drop it. Artie answered with “mmhmm”.

Ralph called in defending Artie and repeated his previous comments about not agreeing with the concept of Artie having to do the PSAs.

This morning Howard read a bunch of listener emails taking sides with Artie and criticizing High Pitch Mike. One called Mike a “disgusting fucking hypocrite”. So true…

I have always been bothered by this little fucker and now more than ever its just a tired bit on the show. Whether the fight is real or fake, Mike is annoying, the debate is old and his voice is more annoying than ever. I really don’t understand why Howard likes giving him airtime. I’d rather hear JD, at least he is fun to pick on and has an entrance song.

Fuck Mike.

Update

I just heard Steve the Intern announce that High Pitch Mike is now considered the least favorite staffer.

According to a 20 Questions interview with High Pitch Mike on HowardStern.com, Mike claims that he and Artie are friends. So what does this mean? Did we find proof of more bullshit made up for the show?

From the interview,

10. Who else on the staff is your friend?
We have no friends. On the Stern show, we’re all enemies. Except me and Artie. He puts on his tough guy act, and I put on this weak, you know, pansy character, but we hang out a lot. He’ll probably get upset with me for talking about this, but there’s a lot times when he comes up to the Bronx or I go out to Hoboken, and we’ll, you know, watch a game, have a beer.

“Get your sister in here and I would fuck your sister on the couch right now” squealed Mike as he tried to prove his masculinity.

A whole thing started up this morning about Mike going to see 27 dresses and then it blew up into a whole “gay” explosion with Artie going over the top.

“I’m a gay basher and ill bash your head!” – Artie

(i gotta run, but i got it recorded so ill put up a clip later)

They were discussing the wrecked JD and HP Mike bit on the wrap-up show today when high pitch mike started lashing out at Artie again. Artie called him a “huge fag” and he retaliated with a slew of obsessively rehearsed lines:

“You think you are a hilarious comedian, you are on the biggest show on earth and your still a nobody”

“Your movie failed … DVD is $4 at circuit city”

“Your cupcake helps fight aids but every word out of your mouth is fagot”

“I hope you die like grandma Caprio.”

developing…

thanks to Wilkins F. for the pic!