According to Artie, this is the greatest thing in the world: a McSkillet Burrito.

Lisa Lampanelli was in studio yesterday announcing her upcoming radio city music hall gig and that she is thinking about attending fat camp. But while Lisa was taking her beauty shots, Artie was caught doing what Artie does best… being fat.

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Thanks to Chris Dean for sending this to me. Enjoy.

Sal come in with measure tape to get the skinny on Artie’s waist size. The big man is sporting a whopping 55 inches! Howard said Artie will have to shop at the Big & Tall & not getting laid store but Artie hinted towards that he was still getting laid perhaps even as recent as this past weekend.

Artie was down in Miami earlier in the weekend where he partied with the crew of a Jennifer Aniston movie, staying till 4 am at a strip club. Howard asked about getting laid again and Artie said there were some things going on but he wasn’t gonna comment. He also mentioned having to shop at an airport newsstand for a shirt because he didn’t have enough shirts. In order to try on his size too small XXL he had to cough up $17.50. Shit I’d pay triple that to watch a fat man shop for clothing at an airport. lol.

Artie got weighed this morning after playing Win Fred’s Money and lost with answering only 1 question. Fred got every answer except for 1.

ARTIE LANGE IS NOW 295!

Artie said his manager mentioned he should lose weight before his trip overseas to entertain the troops.

One of Robin’s male friends said Artie looks like shit (originally stated as fat piece of shit). Can anyone say Jim Florentine? Could be some retaliation for all the shit Artie exposes to Robin about Jim. Artie questioned how could someone call him a fat piece of shit without even knowing him.

I’m pretty sure no one needs to know you to call you a fat piece of shit. That’s what I call Rosie O’Donnell and I don’t know her — and I’m right.

You would think that Artie has got a deal with Burger King the way he puts back a burger… a double cheeseburger that is. The big man managed to put back 7 double cheeseburgers this weekend and break a toilet seat in the process.

Friday
Artie heads up to the Turning Stone hotel and casino. On the way he hits a Burger King and orders 2 double cheeseburgers, fries and a large coke. And they any man of 300 pounds he topped off his meal with 2 chocolate donuts and a hot chocolate.

When he got to the gig, he went to his hotel room and took a shit. While trying to wipe, he leaned over and the toilet seat cracked.

Saturday
On the way home from the gig Artie hits the Burger King again and this time orders 3 double cheeseburgers.

Sunday
After the Giants win, loaded Artie decides to celebrate with another 2 double cheeseburgers, fries and, to switch it up, a shake.

Choose Cupcakes over Colin

Lisa G mentioned that Colin Quinn called into the wrap-up show yesterday talking about how he is going to fat camp at the same time the show is going on break. Colin also put a call to Artie asking if he wanted to join him and Artie declined (surprise). “I’m choosing death I think…I guess I need to do it, I don’t know“.

Robin jumped into the discussion talking about how Artie was on his second muffin of the morning and how he was getting blue icing all over his lips. She then asked him about Bubba’s story influencing him about losing weight.

“This is why you go to groups“, announced Artie this morning as he thanked Bubba the Love Sponge for opening up about his past weight issues. “That scares the fuck out of me“.

Bubba visited to the studio this morning to announce his new “deal” (one more year). Later during the interview he began talking about when he was up around 400 pounds and all the fucked-up-willy that came along with it. His then-girlfriend had to wipe his ass after he took a shit or he would have to take a bath right after words because he couldn’t wipe himself. If he wanted to fly on a plane, he had to buy all 3 seats in a row. Upon hearing this Artie blurted out with his typical scared straight for the moment emotes expressing that he needs to lose weight.

At the end Artie added, “Can someone send Lisa G down? I gotta take a shit.”

He hasn’t eaten in a day or two and has been throwing up, so Artie gladly stepped on the scale this morning to let everyone see where is at. Everyone thought he was over 300 pounds but that good ol’ baby gorilla, never ceasing to amaze people, clocked in right on the line.