Artie will be throwing the first pitch today at the Newark Bears game tonight.

Tuesday’s Show

Artie pondered about what conversations him and his dad would have if his father was still alive. He thought after he punched him in the face for doing drugs, he would ask him for $10,000.

The title of Artie’s next book is a toss up between “Comfortably Dumb” (something his mom said) and “College is for Losers” (something his dad said). Howard said he liked the later.

Artie accidentally said “Dana” this morning when talking about Lisa’s cooking.

Tonight Artie is throwing out the first pitch for the Newark Bears.

Artie admitted to having sex with Dana in a cab after going to the strip club with her.

Artie on the wrap up show said he considers switching camps because the Yankees are no longer a blue collar team. He also talked about his girlfriend. He also said he never saw his own website. LOL

- Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray in studio.

Monday’s Show

Last week, Artie complained about the vending machine buttons not working. Howard Goldstein from the vending machine company came to to check it and said there was nothing wrong. Artie was getting pissed this morning all over again and asked for anyone else that noticed the machine broke to come in – no one did. Artie said that Goldstein came down after it was fixed. The rental company said if Artie leaves the show, the machine will take a financial hit.

During Lisa G’s new, Artie said that he couldn’t bang Lisa G saying that he has a girlfriend, putting to rest rumors that he no longer had one.

The real reason Artie didn’t do the reality show was that he felt that it would be boring and feared he would look like an idiot.

- Artie’s shrink thinks Artie is not curable but can be helped.

There is an interview with the fan running the campaign, Artie for Mayor, over at SternShowBlog.com.

In Other Show News

- Quentin Tarantino in studio.

- Former Artie analyst, Dr Keith Ablow, and Reilly Martin will meet up on air this Friday at 2pm. Reilly was caught selling advertising on his show and was fired. Howard came up with this rehab idea to try and keep Reilly on the air.

Thursday’s show

Howard said he has to turn Artie’s mic down sometimes because he makes a lot of noise eating.

Artie said he never had a GI Joe.

- Joan Rivers on the show today.

In Other Show News

The cover of Beth O’s upcoming book, Oh My Dog, can be seen at http://www.betho.com

Wednesday’s Show

Artie will be apart of the New York Comedy Festival this year and will be performing at the Beacon Theater on Nov. 6th and tickets go on sale today at nycomedyfestival.com

Artie Lange for Mayor? Press Release – Website

- Pierce Morgan, one of the judges on America’s Got Talent, called in this morning.

- Gary the Retard called in and Howard asked him to fill in as Miss Howard Stern.

- Ronnie the Limo driver dyed Baba Booey’s beard and nobody liked it, seems Gary will shave it off.

Tuesday’s show

Artie told Robin that, “she did an excellent job and looked beautiful.” (Referring to her on the Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers). A caller called her the Predator which started an ass kissing session about how great Robin is.

- Mr.Skin in studio. His wife is with him. Mr. Skin’s Top 100 Celebrity Nude Scenes http://www.mrskin.com/top100

And we’re back!

Howard said Artie looks really thin and that the hair on Art’s arm is coming back. Artie said he feels real good and that he had to go to the gap and buy new t-shirts. Two weeks ago he weighed 240, Howard said Artie looked under 230. Artie said during Beer League he weighed 200. Howard complained that Artie is going to look better than him.

Artie has been active. He is jet skiing and playing basketball (3 on 3 league, averaging 6 points a game).

Despite A-rod’s home runs during the Yanks-Sox games, Artie’s hatred of him continues. Artie said there is a chance for Alex to redeem himself but he wants October hits from him.

“When I think of Woodstock, I think of two words: Smelly Pussy.” ~ Artie Lange

- Spyder Harrison in studio today.

- Meet Howard Stern EBAY Auction for the Holly Heisman Memorial Fund http://tinyurl.com/n7ygb3

In Other Stern News

- Stern-clone Wendy Williams has been inducted in to the Radio Hall of Fame. Stern still isn’t. What a fucking joke.

- Private Parts co-star, Paul Giamatti, joining the cast of a Three Stooges movie? http://www.darkhorizons.com/news/14853

Stern show is back on vacation. Doesn’t it feel like they just came back from vacation?

This Week: Road Trip West Coast.

Another Celebrity Death

The popular saying is, Somebody dies every time the show goes on vacation. This time it is John Hughes. If you don’t know who he is then take a look at his IMDB listing. I am sure you will recognize a few movies.

Check out Robin Quivers in her bathing suit

Thursday’s show

- Benjy, Sal and Richard contributed their balls to a Guess the Testicles contest, in which, the 3 of the m stuck their balls through a curtain and the crew had to match the balls to the person. Robin and Artie won.

- Lou Bellera calls in.

- Brian Johnson of AC/DC calls in.

- Judd Apatow and Seth Rogan in this morning.

- Porn girls Gianna Michaels and Shyla Stylez came in for the Wheel of Sex. Here’s a picture of them from this morning.

Wednesday’s Show
(Coming home, should be able to hear majority of show)

Artie has officially turned down the offer for the reality show.

- Brooke Hogan in studio plugging her new album.

- Lisa G went to the bra store with Beth and was told she is a 30 D but they didn’t have her size so she bought a double D.

- A picture of Robin in a bathing suit has been published in the National Enquirer.

- Greg Fitzsimmons in studio.

Tuesday’s show

(I’m still out of state, not catching much of shows)