Tuesday!

What’s with all the ass kissing this morning about yesterday’s show, did i miss the good part or something?

Monday - ERIC THE  MIDGET IN STUDIO!

- Eric the Midget had a three way last night with girls from the Bunny Ranch. Artie said that he also has to come to this show to get laid.

- The girls said Eric is a tit man, which is what we heard from the other whore who banged him.

- Eric is getting threatened by his parents to lose his current residence if he doesn’t stop banging whores.

- Diana Degarmo came in today to meet Eric. Howard made Eric say he would take measurements for the real doll before bringing Diana into the room. Kurt Angle also came in with Diana and said that Eric is an honorary member of the Main Event Mafia.

- Natalie Maines (Dixie Chicks) questioned the authenticity of Eric’s 3-way story because Eric didn’t know how many orgasms he had. Howard said that he looked like he got laid.

- A reporter from Newsday was also in studio covering this historical day.

- Artie mentioned Eric was wearing a button with Art’s face on it which read “You Fat Piece of Shit”.

- Artie won $3700 last thursday in poker.

Thursday, folks.

“If he dies shitting, i don’t care” -Artie Lange [speaking about High Pitch Eric]

- Artie jokingly considered about reviewing the whores he sleeps with on his unused blog.

Coming Soon! Thanks to “Alpharaider”, we have an inside outside look at Eric’s goodbye to his virginity that will be up in time for Eric’s visit to the show.

Wednesday show.

Richard Lewis is still worried about Artie and he is leaving phone messages.

Artie’s therapist knows he “plays cards” insists that the therapist knows what that means but unclear on whether the therapist approves of it. OF COURSE HE WOULDNT.

Other show stuff:

More bullshit complaining from Howard about Ralph. See my comments below.

Tracy Morgan was back in studio today. IMHO this dude is one of the funniest and insane guys around.

Tuesday Show:

- Howard doesn’t like hanging out with Ralph these days but Artie does. Artie said that Jimmy Kimmel doesn’t like Ralph either.

- Artie told recalled a time where he was slipped ecstasy out in Las Vegas so he could stay up. He wound up taking three and “instant brain damage” set in.

- Artie wants to get the Beavis and Butthead shows on DVD.

- Artie said he is not taking drugs or drinking although he still wants to do drugs.

- Artie recalled Monday’s show with Sandi Taylor and said it was one of the funniest moments on the show when she said she learned life lessons from Charlie’s Angels.

- Artie will be on Letterman next week to promote Too Fat To Fish.

Monday. Can’t you feel my excitement?

Artie bits:

- Last Thursday, Artie went out with Howard and the gang to dinner. From all accounts, Artie was overly consumed with the poker game following dinner. He was bothering everyone for a cell phone because he couldn’t make a phone call on his Iphone to schedule a car. He did get to the game and wound up losing $8200. Robin pointed out its like any other thing with Artie [meaning he is addicted to gambling again while he is off drugs/alcohol].

- Artie said, “At this point, it’s a no-brainer to vote for Obama”.

_ Artie once again showed his impressive knowledge of Playboy centerfolds by recalling Sandy Taylo’s cover (today’s guest) on a whim. [Later on Artie was corrected. She was July '95 not June '95.]

- Artie was laughing hysterically while Sandy Taylor talked about what she learned from watching Charlie’s Angels. Howard had to interrupt Sandy to point it out.

Thursday’s Artie tidbits:

- Howard was talking about the cellulite on his ass and then commented on how Artie is in such horrible shape. Artie added, “Easily the worst shape of my life”.

- One of Artie’s reps asked him if he wanted to be on Celebrity Rehab but he said he would never do that.

** more to come. ps - wednesday’s tidbits have been posted.

Wednesday’s Artie tidbits:

- Artie is thinking about going to the Playboy mansion. He heard John Stamos would be there and figured he could get some “shrapnel” from John because John couldn’t bang all 80 chicks.

- An advertiser for the show has ideas to sponsor a polygraph test for Artie to take about his drug taking. Artie said he would take it and that he has no reason to lie. Howard said that he had wanted to do a similar bit but Artie won’t give up a hair sample.

- Lisa G. claimed that Artie has been wearing the same shirt for three days. Artie said it was washed last night.

- Artie thinks Robin is banging her new young boyfriend.

- Artie said he is still off Subutex. Howard said he would like to see Artie stop gambling. Robin said he replaced his drug addiction with gambling again and it might be leading to a sexual addiction. Artie replied that he had always had that.

Tuesday Artie Tidbits:

- Howard was trying to invite Artie to hang out with him. Fred is worried Artie has lost all pretense of sobriety by putting himself in scenarios where there is a lot of partying, girls and drinking. Robin called Howard an enabler. The guys in the back office say that Artie uses his sobriety when its convenient for him.

- They played tape of Imus mentioning Artie’s book on the air. Imus said that the book title was funny. Howard said that he and Beth saw Imus, the fake cowboy, on the street the other day. Howard said hello to him, Don extended his hand and they shook. No other words were said.

- They also played tape of Bob Levy recording some of Artie’s audiobook. Horrible.

Good morning everyone, its monday.

Artie’s Monday tidbits:

- Artie won big down in Atlantic City this weekend playing poker. On the way home he had 2 girls (white and hispanic girl) in the limo and got a total of 3 BJs (rubber on) on the way home. He had 2 Bjs, took a nap, hit burger king (his 2 double cheeseburgers), got another BJ afterwards. Big Tipper: The driver got a $1,000 and the girls, $1500 each. Last time he got laid was only a week and a half ago.

- Artie started handing out $100 bills in the back office during the show break.

- Artie gets TheTemptations and The Four Tops confused.

The Show:

- Cheech and Chong in studio this morning.