Artie promoting Too Fat To Fish on The Late Show with David Letterman.

Some HowardTV Video Promos

Too Fat To Fish has already hit the bestsellter list over at Amazon . Artie’s upcoming book is #4 for the top selling non-fiction book this week at Amazon.ca. Read the full list here. TFTF is currently #16 over at Amazon.com.

Fred continued to talk about Too Fat To Fish this morning. Howard was talking about what he could do in the car ride to Jason’s wedding and Fred suggested reading Artie’s book.

Fred said he could normally read a book in a day but he said Too Fat To Fish is one those books you read slow because there is a lot to digest. There are a few chapters in the book where you dont want to miss one word. He said that some of the material you have fun reading and then you say “Holy shit ive stepped into hell”.

Thursdays Show.

- Surprisingly Eric the Midget called in today to say ‘thank you’ for the studio visit. It might only be the first or second time he has given an unsolicitated thank you. He did say Fred would not come out from his booth to say hello. Fred said he has a job to do and had no time.

- Artie taped Letterman yesterday. He said the first guest was Natalie Portman. He said she was so hot and her face was angelic. I wonder if he beat off to her like he did with another well-known actress in a dressing room (read about that story in his book).

- No Leno. Artie said there was no offer to do Leno’s show but he told his agent to not evn ask.

- Artie said he needed a dream interpretation. Story: Artie said 2 nights ago he had a dream where his father comes back and he can walk. His dad brings him and his sister to dinner and tells them that he faked his death and that he has been alive this whole time. Artie was yelling at his mother and father. he became scared of his dad and started fighting with his father. He found out his dad his married with another woman and has a kid and also works with Dan the Song parody man. Artie said he woke up very upset.

 - Artie had took a shot at High Pitch Mike again. As a result, HP Mike is now back to making radio bits mocking Art. They played an audio bit 3.5 hours into the show and it consisted of clips of Artie’s on-air meltdowns. Afterwards Artie said he was surprised he is still on the show.

Note: I have to make some changes later tonight so the site may be down.

There hasn’t been much Artie stuff on the shows lately, not sure if that is good or bad

Tuesday!

What’s with all the ass kissing this morning about yesterday’s show, did i miss the good part or something?

An inside look at Eric the Midget’s quest for manhood and leaving behind once and for all his long-lasting virginity.

We all know Eric. He is your normal everyday midget with a knack for webcam chats and daily calls to the Howard Stern show to update us on the never-ending soap opera of his anger and hate-filled sad life. For years now we have marveled over his mind-numbingly dull life. We had hopes of one day seeing him take flight and fly with balloons but that never happened. We listened as he tried to con the show and audience with the belief that he fell in love with some over-priced webcam porn girl, complete with photo shoot.

After his failed attempts with his modeling agency and strippers, Eric finally figured out how to bust the seal on his pecker, stop dry humping his mattress always ending in soiled pajama pants. Eric’s quest brought him from his bubble in Sacramento, California to Moundhouse, Nevada. He did what any other thirty-something male would do if you aren’t getting laid the organic way, you pay for it.

Enter the Love Ranch. 

The Love Ranch is located not too far from the infamous Bunny Ranch. Down a hill and across a highway you will you will find a nice stretch of road that depending on the time of day you can smell the fresh pleasures of a  sewer treatment facility, such a fitting place for our boy to make his stand. On this road you will find a cozy cul-de-sac with three whore houses and a strip club. Eric planted his flag in the red “building” pictured below. By all outward appearances it looks okay but it is really a bunch of single and double wide mobile homes cleverly connected to each other to disguise itself as one building. Any other man of integrity would have moved on to a more upscale place but Eric pressed on knowing that his destiny awaited him there.

For all you bikers out there, there is a yearly Hells Angels’ Cathouse Poker Run that starts in Reno and goes up through Virginia City down the hill into Moundhouse and back to Reno and all of the stops to draw your poker hand are at the whorehouses. They let you take tours of the whorehouses during the run.

Eric’s sex trip photo journal:

Thank you to “Alpharaider” for her insight and photos.

Monday - ERIC THE  MIDGET IN STUDIO!

- Eric the Midget had a three way last night with girls from the Bunny Ranch. Artie said that he also has to come to this show to get laid.

- The girls said Eric is a tit man, which is what we heard from the other whore who banged him.

- Eric is getting threatened by his parents to lose his current residence if he doesn’t stop banging whores.

- Diana Degarmo came in today to meet Eric. Howard made Eric say he would take measurements for the real doll before bringing Diana into the room. Kurt Angle also came in with Diana and said that Eric is an honorary member of the Main Event Mafia.

- Natalie Maines (Dixie Chicks) questioned the authenticity of Eric’s 3-way story because Eric didn’t know how many orgasms he had. Howard said that he looked like he got laid.

- A reporter from Newsday was also in studio covering this historical day.

- Artie mentioned Eric was wearing a button with Art’s face on it which read “You Fat Piece of Shit”.

- Artie won $3700 last thursday in poker.

Thursday, folks.

“If he dies shitting, i don’t care” -Artie Lange [speaking about High Pitch Eric]

- Artie jokingly considered about reviewing the whores he sleeps with on his unused blog.

Coming Soon! Thanks to “Alpharaider”, we have an inside outside look at Eric’s goodbye to his virginity that will be up in time for Eric’s visit to the show.